Dating…The ‘label’ chat .

[joug]

Back to this scene again after being married for years and years.
dating a man for the last month.
Hes planned all the dates , we click, plenty of chemistry , he’s consistent, interested but as busy and as committed to his family as I am. We’re both 53.
we’ve been intimate physically and all was well. We have two other significant activities/ dates lined up for the next month.He has alluded to meeting his friend and inviting me to his etc so we are on the same page. We live an hour away from one another and are very busy.
When to have the ‘chat’?
we have agreed that we are not seeing or speaking to anyone else and have also agreed to dating with a view to building something but obviously for now we’re seeing if we are both interested enough in that and whether we are compatible etc.
The last time I had this chat with a man was thirty years ago I guess. I just can’t remember it 😂

To say what?
You're already exclusive?

You've kind of already had the chat haven't you? I wouldn't 'label' anything before three months.

Would you say that ‘we’re seeing each other’? Dating , the word, seems so casual

You're both adults. You tell him what you're looking for then he tells you what he's seeking. If it's compatible then move forward if it isn't then part company. Simples!!

It's very early days OP so l think to say you are seeing someone is fine.No need for labels at this point.

I guess we are both enjoying getting To know each other more and are enjoying dates . I’ve no idea where this will go but I do know we agree that we are open to seeing where it goes and hope it goes somewhere!
when people ask and when I want to introduce him, do I call him/ him / me ….my friend?

You just say 'this is Dave's when you introduce him. If the person you introduce him to says oh are you in a relationship/is this your boyfriend you just say 'yes, we're dating - met about a month ago ' or whatever. Don't overthink it

'Dave' not 'Dave's' obviously!

Just say ‘This is Andrew.’ If asked if he’s your boyfriend, say ‘we’ve been seeing another since X’?

Poor woman - she's dating Fergie's ex?!

I always find this concept slightly bizarre. I mean you’ve been together three months I’d be calling someone my boyfriend at that point and that just would’ve emerged naturally. I feel like the concept of having to negotiate something which is patiently obvious quite a new concept.

Well, everything's going well. You share the same dating style. You've clarified how you're solely concentrating on each other while having a wait-and-see attitude. So stop worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. I'm assuming you're holding hands and have a special couple's vibe, so just introducing him by name is sufficient. People are clueless and if they are, you can explain it later, but in the scheme of things, don't make mountains out of molehills.

When you mentioned he's done all the planning, I think it's time you stepped up and planned things of your own for dates. Since you're only an hour apart, you could each drive 30 minutes to meet for lunch or dinner or a walk in a park etc. Make sure you're also treating him regularly, so he's not always paying, and sometimes suggesting going dutch.

I hope things continue to go well!

I am 52 and do find the whole label girlfriend and boyfriend, well, something more suitable for someone 20 years younger. But partner sounds naff (and more formal).

You got aligned with your children/insta/other social media about chatting/exclusives.
You are in your 50's...we date. I have always followed the rules from being 15 in the 80's.

What are the rules ??

There are no rules!!!
Why do you think any conversation needs to happen. You have ongoing plans, you are not seeing other people. What are you hoping to achieve by having "the chat"?
I don't introduce people by stating my relationships with them. If I talk about them in the early stages, I'd say "the bloke I am seeing"
You seem to be overly anxious which is problematic. My general rule is, if I am scared to talk to someone then I shouldn't be dating them. Except, in this instance I am really not sure any conversation about your status is necessary.

I don't understand.