Is my marriage going down the pan?!

[Palopie44]

So I have been with my husband for 6 years, married for two, but we have known each other nearly 20 years
He used to be so energetic, attentive and seemed like he really cared but for the last couple of years its been a nightmare and getting worse
He does shift work and his routine is all over the place which I really do not think suits him. Gets up really late even on days off, so that leaves me getting up with children every morning. I also co sleep so don't get a break. He sleeps in a separate room. I then take DD to preschool, do all the cooking/cleaning/washing etc. I do 95% of all the child care. If I want a morning where I can stay in bed I have to let him know on advance and he moans about it, it's always if I get up that early I won't be able to do xyz.
I'm not working at the moment as I'm pregnant and suffer terribly with sickness and exhaustion. He started doing a little bit of cleaning and cooking but now I'm feeling a little bit better that's all stopped. The house is still upside down and all support has just ceased.
Whenever we are together all he does is make sexual jokes and constantly moans that we aren't physical and we don't act like husband and wife, but I feel like a there is more to a relationship than being sexual and if I'm stressed or feeling resentment because of the lack of support in the house it's just a massive turn off. I also just feel like it's another chore on the list that I don't want to do.
I feel like because I'm pregnant I'm just setting myself up to be a single mother to another one, and maybe it would be easier if I was just a single mother?
Has he just stopped caring because he's not mentally in the relationship anymore? I also feel like I've checked out.

OP if you are at home all day and he is out working then I think it's fair enough that you do the childcare and the housework. However the sexual demands and innundo are not OK whilst your are pregnant and feeling unwell. I would be having a nap whilst your daughter is at preschool if l were you, chores can wait! Then at weekends when he is around get him on board with any extra tasks you aren't up to. If he doesn't comply then concentrate on DD and stop doing things for him until he gets the message.

I actually do work, I'm a nurse but signed off sick at the moment because I'm too ill to work. I suffer with hyperesmis gravidarum with every pregnancy so you can imagine how ill I am. And I do think that's a very old fashioned way of thinking, that just because someone is working means everything and I mean everything falls to the person at home

Sorry OP, your post didn't mention that you had hyperemisis gravidarum, that's a horrible thing to have to cope with. l had extreme sickness myself in pregnancy ( not HG though) so my sympathies to you.
I would never expect one person to do all the housework etc, of course things should be shared but l misinterpreted your post. You say your husband used to be active and helpful so is the change since having children?

You need marriage counselling asap.

If resentment becomes contempt - for either of you - your partnership will be awful and the best thing would be to divorce.

You also need to think carefully about your boundaries and be more assertive.
Don't do things that make you feel resentful.
But at the sme time, you have to accept that there will be consequences of your boundaries. Other people don't have to do what you want. Maybe when you realise the consequences you will choose to change your boundaries. But don't feel resentful if you do so. It's your choice. If changing your boundaries results in you feeling unhappy - don't change them. Just accept the consequences for the sake of your mental health.

Realise that he has boundaries too; and he has to accept the consequences too.

Depending on your respective boundaries -- maybe you're not compatible as parents?