I’m absolutely done with my shit husband

[Mingspingpongball]

And I told him so tonight. He’s really pulled all the nasty stuff out of the box. All the little gaslighting moves.
Im worried for my severely disabled child but I’m so fucking done with him.
All the pretending he can’t hear what I’m saying (to the point I forced him to have a hearing test). He can hear everyone else clearly.
The complete disgusting way he’s chasing and fawning over my supposed best friend in front of me (I’m 50 and she’s older than me but any attention is worth it I suppose).
How he has yo be instructed to do ANYTHING for our daughter.
How he pesters me for sex despite it hurting me, but on the 2 weeks post period when I can do it he ignores me.
How he fucking sat in my court case hearing listening to the judge determine whether I’d been sexually assaulted and decided maybe I’d lied (because the useless judge decided not to ruin a consultant’s career) so decided although I hadn’t lied maybe (?) I was not clear about what happened.. and he decided to tell me this fucking thought instead of swallowing it down (the police believed me and think they know more than this fucking man).
How no matter how sore or sad or distressed or how much fun I’m having - none of it matters unless he’s had a good ego-satisfying day.
can someone remind me to stay firm?
Because I’m terrified my child is going to die with a recent diagnosis but I cannot let that fear orient my entire life any more.

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

💐

He sounds like an utter pig

Make a list of everything he has done (keep it safe and secure, where he can’t get it) and every time you wobble you need to re-read it

Stay strong, you’re doing this for you AND your child x

I’m so worn down by him.

OP that is awful. You deserve better.

I am married to a man who is completely self centred and emotionally neglectful. Not abusive like your DH but a not good husband. We have a child with additional needs and significant mental health problems. Since separating last year I have found being rid of my DH’s crap it has given me capacity to be a better person and parent emotionally. Think about what you can do on your own.

plus a lot of people in my life didnt support me because they assumed that DH was helping or because he was a dick to them too. Alone has been way better for me.

@PrincessFairyWren
I think that’s how I will feel.
my child actually doesn’t really engage with him. The only things he does for her is because I bloody force him to.

It's to keep you from changing, seeking help and opposing him. Please contact women's aid - see link posted previously. 💐

*How he pesters me for sex despite it hurting me, but on the 2 weeks post period when I can do it he ignores me.

There's more than enough in the rest of the post to justify your feelings, but I don't think the above is a coincidence (unless you think it somehow coincides with something else that gets in the way)? It sounds he's deliberately hurting you.

Yeah he enjoys punishing me. I mean if I dare to be less than enthusiastic about his existence and everything he says or thinks. He actually admits to punishing me for things I wouldn’t even consider being a slight. I’ve tried to make things work for my child but I can’t tolerate it any more

Hi op have you got a plan,
You definitely do not need to live like this op, just don't, you deserve peace op,
Make plans to change your situation op

Sorry I had to distract myself a bit for a day or two.
Im still not speaking to him, I haven’t ever done that in 22 years but I can’t forgive him this time.
My plan is to.. speak to my counsellor tomorrow (I see her all the time). Plan how to separate (divorce being the end goal but I have to consider my child so I’ll do it slowly if I can). I’m not backing down any more. The things he said on Wednesday night were just a step too far. And in the argument it reminded me of so so many things he’s said and done. I’m completely done with him.