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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have a 3month old and I’m deeply unhappy with my relationship with husband. He’s never been very affectionate but it’s gotten worse. Before me he was a serial dater and enjoyed the buzz of many different women and the chase.

6 replies

BoyMumToBe34 · 18/03/2026 00:17

I rarely get a compliment and When I do, it’s because I’ve raised it with him a day or so before that he doesn’t compliment me. Kiss me, hug me, it’s always me asking. I feel depressed. I want to feel wanted. I always make an effort no matter how tired to smell good, be well groomed, wear make up. But with a newborn it’s hard but I still try. I feel really down no unwanted, but I also have no other support network so not sure what to do. I’m tired of raising it with him. He keeps telling me it will get better but it doesn’t and now he say “focus on the baby, that should be priority” I am becoming resentful but inside I’m yearning for love. any advice would be much appreciated. I’m so exhausted, but also sad. Can’t sleep even though I’m so sleep deprived

OP posts:
ForgetAbout · 18/03/2026 00:20

Honestly, contact his mother and tell her what he is doing so she can talk some sense into her especially if he won’t listen to you.
This is going to affect you and your child’s wellbeing and it’s time he bes a responsible adult.
also start initiating the intimacy that you want

Rayqueen2026 · 18/03/2026 01:04

Well you knew he wasn't very affectionate anyway and tbh it would do my head in someone wanting hugs and kisses etc on demand. Your both going to be worn out you have a baby who usually is the focus for a while while you navigate a new way of life anyway. In a way he is right focus on your little one the rest will follow once your less exhausted. I couldn't be bothered with makeup etc for months after each one but I know dh loves me anyway I am

FruitFlyPie · 18/03/2026 02:59

contact his mother

You can't be serious.

Bobblehatwobbles · 18/03/2026 03:34

Yeah don’t contact his Mum, that’s really weird…

I completely get where you’re coming from OP - I have been there with my DH (3 times with 3 kids) all I can say is that it does get better. Once the baby is less dependent on you and you are sleeping more, your relationship does settle again and these things that feel massive right now do improve.

Sleep deprivation does insane things to your mind so this is going to feel REALLY insurmountable and dark right now. Ultimately, you want to feel
cared for and seen in a period of time when your life is all about caring and being there for someone else - completely understandable.

Try to get some sleep if you can 💐

JG24 · 18/03/2026 03:36

ForgetAbout · 18/03/2026 00:20

Honestly, contact his mother and tell her what he is doing so she can talk some sense into her especially if he won’t listen to you.
This is going to affect you and your child’s wellbeing and it’s time he bes a responsible adult.
also start initiating the intimacy that you want

What strange advice

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 18/03/2026 04:14

Is he pulling his weight with the baby and domestic duties?

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