Dating (or trying to) date as a 43 single mum!

[pinkpalmleaves]

I’ve decided after five years of being single, I want to actually try an go on some dates. I don’t ‘need’ a man, but I would quite like some nice dates,
some passion and good sex! I’m not ‘insta’ level beautiful. But I have good skin and hair and would say I’m reasonably attractive! I’m self sufficient, intelligent and warm and friendly!

I’ve just joined 3 apps and have been on them a couple of weeks. I matched with some nice people, but all so eager to meet within five minutes (us single mums need time to make sure you’re worth our free time and to find the free time), one guy I talked to for about four days but then radio silence for the past two days! Do I reach out? What are the rules these days?

it feels a very shallow pool out there, sadly!

Any other ideas on how to meet a man would be greatly appreciated?

Ok, deep breaths. Let me fill you in 😆

99.9% of app conversations go nowhere. This is normal. Do not follow up with anyone who goes silent for more than 24h. Block, delete, move on.
Wanting to meet immediately is not a bad thing. Totally get how inconvenient and scary it may seem but actually most men nowadays really struggle with follow through. So grab those who can plan a date within 48h of chatting. Those are the exception. No point trying to decide if they are worth it by chatting for days. Meet for a quick coffee, not a full date. Just a quick coffee. That's all. A pre-date, if you like.

The pool is not great but there are plenty of good men out there. Discard all the crap at the matching stage. Never match with people who haven't filled in their profile, those who under relationship goals state "still figuring it out" or any blokes who have "no drama" in their profile. They are all a waste of time.

Be clear about your intentions from the onset. If you want a long-term relationship, state that from the start. You will scare away most. That's a good thing and preferable to wasting your time just to have them bolt six dates in.

Arrange a phone call before meeting. Essential!! You won't believe how well someone totally unhinged can present themselves in text messages. A phone call is where all the crap comes out.

Have a great time and a bit of a sense of humour about the whole thing.

@Catzaoh my god! This is amazing intel thank you! I’ve been single for long. The guy I was talking to asked for my number…. Text me yesterday morning then nothing!!! Maybe eaten by a shark?

All your advice is great! Phone call is a must, I agree. You want to be sure you can hold a conversation together!

Yes also to the men who put their list of demands on their bio! If nothing else it makes me cringe! Thing I find with apps is I want to find them attractive…. But I have such weird taste and go a lot on personality, which is so hard on these bloody apps!

I agree with PP

Meet or delete
Compliment not complicate
Always a phone call

There’s a good dating thread on here OP - you should join. You’ll get loads of useful tips and learn from other’s experiences or mistakes!

Good luck.