After years solo, I’d like a partner but dread dating apps

[InTheSkyAtNight]

This feels a bit sad to admit, but I think I might have reached the stage where I’d quite like a husband.

Not because I need one before anyone says it! I’ve been on my own for 9 years since my last relationship ended and I’ve managed perfectly well so I know I’m capable of being on my own.

But recently I’ve had a few moments where I’ve thought… actually it might be quite nice not to have to do absolutely everything on my own forever.

I think I’m just a bit tired of always being the only adult in the room dealing with things. When something goes wrong, it’s me. When there’s a decision to make, it’s me. When something breaks, guess who’s sorting it!

Im not looking for someone to rescue me from life just someone to share it with a bit. Someone who cares if you’re having a rubbish day, or who you can moan to but I’ve realised I do miss having a “person”.

Trouble is the idea of actually dating again fills me with horror. Especially apps but it would be the only way for me to actually meet someone.

Surely I can’t be the only one who’s had this moment after years of happily doing life solo? Anyone else feel the same and where to you begin to find someone?

I would be SO up for paying a matchmaker to find me a decent man.

Beats sweeping through Tinder any day.

I've got to go to a work event next week... I'm planning a double pronged approach!

There's plenty of nice men on dating apps. There's plenty of idiots too. I've been on and off dating apps for years. I've made friends who've met their life partners online and are married, dating, have children etc. Other than that you could join Meet Me or similar. Sign up for a walking group, board games, photography or the singles clubs, whatever you're into. Get yourself out there one way or the other. Good luck

I had decided on being single forever, I was incredibly happy. Then my now partner came along, stubborn as a god. After 10 years single, I met him through coding, of all things.

We try and outgeek each other with the stuff we create 😂

I get to geek out on lit and shakespeare to him, and he geeks out on the greek gods and wine to me.

I am so stupidly happy, never thought I'd let a man in again!

I feel the same. Did the apps back in 2020/2021 and it was dire. Won't go back on them. We managed before the likes of Tinder. There's other ways to meet men, I know very few people who have met their life partner on an app.

I also find it interesting when people say they've been on the apps for so long whilst saying how great they are for meeting people and they're now friends with so many of the men they met. Isn't the whole point of a dating app to find someone to date? If you've been on for 5 years it obviously isn't a very successful way to meet your soul mate.

I agree, it's not easy. I am an oldie and have been online dating for many years on and off but reading people's comments it sounds harder than ever to find someone compatible. I've had a few relationships from OLD but the last did not end well so l took a break from it. I was thinking of going back on but things sound even worse by all accounts. It makes you wonder where all the older, decent, single men are!
I don't want to join sports clubs etc, l just want to meet a nice, genuine guy but they are like gold dust it seems. The last app l used was Bumble ( and that was like pulling teeth!) but these days everyone says that all sites are the same so wouldn't know which one to use.

makes you wonder where all the older, decent, single men are!
People do make a category error in assuming there is a plentiful supply of older decent single men. Why would there be a supply just because you have a demand?
Why would they be single if they are good men /unless they are light house keepers they will be snapped up in the wild.
As a very rare commodity (which they are) they will be sought after by attractive women before they go anywhere near apps. In the case of the ones I met (widowers) they weren’t actually looking for a partner so it wouldn’t have crossed their minds to go on an app.
Apps are also a very lazy approach /not wanting to make any effort.

I agree that the decent older guys get snapped up quickly but it's surprising how many do still use the apps to find a partner, or to chat online to pass the time especially if they are feeling bored or lonely.
It's not always about lack of effort either, especially if you are shy or an introvert.Getting out there can be tough!
Not all men are at clubs, or doing sport or hobbies either, there are some genuine ones online it's just the weeding out process that's difficult and the seeming inability of the apps to match people despite their advertising claims. Distance is a good example especially on apps like Bumble where anyone visiting your area / city can pop up as a match when they really live 100 miles away. None of it is easy but neither is finding someone compatible ' in the wild'.