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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ongoing unwanted contact from ex, considering moving and reporting to police

6 replies

Bettsy123 · 12/03/2026 17:54

Harassment & moving house

hi all ❤️ I shall try and keep it short!

I dated someone and asked for a Clare’s law as I have previous DV relationship. It came back and he was under bail (now scentenced from his ex relationship- treated to kill and assault) I broke it off immediately.

that was over a year ago and I stayed no contact or I would call the police. It went back and forth and then petered off and I blocked him from everything. I haven’t replied to anything in over a year.

then he used a different number to contact me and send messages/missed calls. Went through my
business webpage to email me as his email was blocked etc.

we were only seeing eachother for around 6 months. I reported it to the police and they asked me at the time if I wanted to file for harassment but I didn’t want any of it so declined.

a few months passed and he rang and messaged again so reported to the police.

Ive had nothing until last week (only
realised yesterday as I’ve not been checking social media etc) where he used a different user name and message requested on instagram. The messages aren’t malicious but emotionally trying to reel me in.

i reported to the police last night and thought nothing of it as last time they didn’t even acknowledge. But the police rang me today and said as it’s been more than 6 months I can’t press a harassment charge. But I disclosed that while he got up for the toilet in the night, as he climbed back into bed he tried to put his hand into my underwear- they said I can charge sexual assault by touching and being the harassment under that too, or I can look to get a non mol order.

i want to move home. He knows where I live, I have a little one (he never met etc) but I think the house holds too many memories.

im worried that if I file sexual assault it’s going to feel like everything has been sown out of proportion and might have him show up at my door.

but now im on edge because of the contact.

so i think im ready to move but have no idea where to move to, i dont think down the road will
cut it so would mean me moving the little ones school and a fresh start. And I wouldn’t know anyone. I’ve been thinking of moving on and off for a while but think this has given me a budge.

please. Any advice welcome. With insight into pressing charges. How you’ve moved before for a fresh start. Anything xx

OP posts:
Grottycake · 12/03/2026 17:59

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bettsy123 · 12/03/2026 18:03

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

If it’s for a DV charge it will disclose, or they did with mine anyways.

I’ve been thinking about moving for the past 3years, for other reasons also

OP posts:
Grottycake · 12/03/2026 18:05

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Gingernaut · 12/03/2026 18:11

Call the police.

Blueyelloworange · 12/03/2026 18:24

It seems a shame to move and he might find you again anyway- could you look into a sanctuary scheme or similar- something to make your home safer?

Imbusytodaysorry · 13/03/2026 22:47

@Bettsy123 i would not move because of this man .
I would report everything to the police all of it , and keep doing so .
Only move if it’s what your really want separately from this man .
They thrive on attention he’s not getting that from you . He will get bored.
Don't reply keep reporting .

If you do decide to move it depend where you live now where you fancy and what kind of lifestyle you are after .
Also your living situation at the moment .

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