Hey all, I want your help figuring this thing out. I was seeing a guy regularly for a month. We went on about nine or ten dates (or more like hangouts). We hung out quite often, at his place or driving in his car together. His ex had cheated on him and he had forgiven her, but they eventually broke up. He played the guitar, I sang, and we were planning to perform on the street together. There was almost no physical intimacy between us for eight dates, only during two of the last meetings at his place. He said he had previously been seeing a girl from Tinder for a month or so and realized it wasn’t right — that there was no “vibe” and also that she lied about not smoking while she did smoke. He saw it as a lie in the very beginning of the relationship and that was one of the reasons he broke it off with her. He said she got pissed.
He said he liked me, that I was pretty, and that he wanted to kiss me. I didn’t kiss him at that time. I initially saw him as a friend and wasn't that attracted to him but later on I became really into him. I wasn't initiating any physical contact though. He asked what this was leading to. He said he was unsure whether I was looking for friendship or more. He said “decide,” and “at worst our paths will part and I’ll stop trying in this way" (like grabbing my hand, cuddling, etc). He would offer me alcohol. He told me to think it over after confessing that he found me attractive. He said he "didn't know how to act" after his confession. Later, during one of our dates, we kissed passionately (he initiated it). I also stroked his hair and there was some intimacy between us. We hugged too but didn’t have sëx. After that, he started rescheduling plans. In general, he would cancel quite a lot, either because of being sick or working on his game that he's creating, training etc. I often complained to him about my ex too much and even cried once. I know I shouldn't have done that and now I regret it. During the last date he didn’t kiss me, only hugged for hello and goodbye. He pulled back and didn't text me all day until the evening.
Yesterday evening he messaged me and offered to drive over to bring me my hat I had left at his place. He wanted to talk. He said he didn’t feel the vibe with me, that I was pretty, that we both liked music, that I was talented but “you see we’re not texting each other.” He also said “a girl who goes to the gym and works out a lot is probably more my type" (I didn't really go to the gym). He said we will both focus on finding someone for us. At the end, he said, “no hard feelings?” and hugged me. He didn’t even consider friendship. On his dating profile he claimed he was looking for something long or short-term. What happened here? I kinda want to text him for closure but I'm scared I'll make a fool of myself. Should I do it? Why say all that dumb sh.t and then pull this trash? I just wish at this point I could become gay, srsly. I hate men.