Sudden high libido after stopping the pill, how long does it last?

[Ohgodthisisabitcringe]

As all the great and the good say… NC for this. Sorry, I know this is a bit much if it appears as an ‘interesting first post’ but really can’t link it to other outing things.

I’ve been on hormonal contraception since I was 17. I’m 37 now. The only times I’ve been off it have been to conceive my kids and I attributed the ‘urge’ to have sex a lot with the urge to conceive.

Have been with lovely DH since I was 23 and have always had nicely matched sex drives except for the conception times when I assumed my interest was baby related. I came off the pill six weeks ago as DH is about to have a vasectomy.

This is a bit cringe but I’m suddenly insatiable 😬 I’m constantly thinking about sex, wanting it, DH is lovely but getting slightly annoyed about the fact I’m hinting about it any time the kids aren’t around. We’ve been happily every fortnight since the kids were born and now I’m after it every night..

I don’t want to be a sex pest and he’s been wonderful with the feast/famine sex life of the last few years. We have a 3yo and a 5yo and there’s every chance it’s early perimenopause as my mum had the change at 43.

Has anyone else had this? Does it calm down after a few months? It’s knocked me sideways with how much I want sex atm and I don’t want to annoy DH! I suddenly have a lot of sympathy for teenage boys - I hate how much it’s in my head!

Why would it annoy him?! My DH would be DELIGHTED if it was an every night thing (we’re a 3 times a week couple as it stands). Sure go for it, shag your husband x

Careful you don't get pregnant 6 weeks before his vasectomy!

Hahah oh lovely, I’m so glad your DH would be ok with that!

I’m just trying to work out how to manage my weird upswing of libido with a 40 something husband who is happy with a couple of times a week 😅

Plenty of condoms in the house I promise!

Sorry. I know it sounds a bit jokey but really do want to work out how to deal with the mismatch and whether it’s permanent or temporary.

@Ohgodthisisabitcringe self “love” can help a bit. lol yoor post has made me worry as I am on the pill and would face sex most days if I could. The prospect of being “hornier” scares me.
Joking aside, an open and honest conversation with your husband should hopefully help.

Sorry for the typos- meant to say I would have sex every day and not face it!

It might not fade! My libido increased loads after stopping contraception. The pill had killed it almost completely, I think this is just your body’s normal. You’re supposed to feel super horny for about a week before ovulation. Which we don’t get when on the pill. I then seem to peak again for a couple of days before period starts.

Eek @MeganM3 - this is what I’m worrying about.

Dont get me wrong I’m loving the closeness but I’m being a bit too much atm and I’d love to get my head back so I’m not so obsessed!

lol, I’ve just come off the pill for the same reason (though am a lot older than you) and I’ll be intrigued to see if this happens!

I think I generally have a normal to high sex drive but I’m sure my boyfriend will be delighted if I’m even more up for it.

You have me worried now! My late husband died in October and about a month ago widows fire reignited my libido. Fortunately, I was just letting my current supply of pills & scripts run out and I have an old friend I see on weekends to douse the fire (lives too far away for mid-week visits around work etc.)
So now I am thinking I should definitely see my doctor for more scripts. Waiting a week is diffucult enough!

Very similar story here but for me it very obviously peaks in my fertile window so for a few days it's all I can think about, I read sexual stories, have sexual dreams etc.

Invest in a really decent vibrator in case DH gets tired out and enjoy it!!

I have also found the Pill, which I was on for decades partly for contraception and then to treat endometriosis, dampens your libido. I'm quite old and now I'm off it, it's all systems go. I did not realise this at the time of taking it.

Are you sure he is unhappy with the current schedule? I am in my 40s and have always had a high drive, zero complains from my lover. He enthusiastically accommodates. And I don't hint either. I just go for it!

Yeah, a known side effect of the pill is decreased libido.

So if you've been on it for 30 years more or less, maybe this IS your natural sex drive.

Enjoy it and just have a wank if dh isn't in the mood.

Ive been on and off the pill so many times in my life (mid 40s now) but I have never gone through what your experiencing, but it will be because of hormones. And this will be different for everyone.
when you start / stop the pill it takes a few weeks to adjust to the hormonal change, things should settle down in a few weeks time. Maybe explain about this to your husband if you haven't already so he understands. 👍

Why is he annoyed?!
Once a fortnight sex to wanting it every day?!
We are once if not twice a day here....neither of us ever get annoyed with the other it feels amazing to feel desired and we feel very close physically emotionally after sex...

It could well be the pill, youve been om it a long time!
When i came off the pill 14 years ago to conceive my first I thought I was dying 😂 withdrawal type stuff, the illest ive ever been 🤷‍♀️
I never went back after that ive been all natural ever since and felt so much better for it. Periods are better, very regular and I love sex etc

This happened to me.

It stopped when I was about 50... :/

The pill can be a great passion killer. I am older than you (later 40s) and l really did not get on with hormonal contraception. After 2 attempts of about 3 years once in later teens and once in mid 20s) l had to concede it was not for me. I’d suggest this increase you are feeling is a return to normality.

Don’t worry about it though, just enjoy feeding the fire within. x

I stopped taking the pill 5 years ago at 40 after being on it for 25 yrs. Its only now I know it totally killed my libido because I'm so much hornier now than I ever was before! Probably not what you wanted to hear 🤣

I was like this when I came off the pill too. I was only off it for a couple of months so not sure how long it would have lasted but for those couple of months I was the same, all I could think about was sex 😆 husband had a fairly high sex drive so it was generally ok but I think it got too much even for him at times! As others have said, this might just be your normal sex drive, it's crazy what hormonal contraception does to our bodies.

I'm on the other end of this. I've always been the one with the higher libido, and thought I'd be happiest with sex every day. Our actual sex life on the other hand has been closer to 3 times a month.

And then DP hit peri-menopause, and last year her sex drive went through the roof. Suddenly my dreams have come true, and we're having sex every day!

Turns out my libido isn't quite as high as I thought, seems like my sweet spot is about 3 or 4 times a week, and I'm having to turn DP down, which is something I never thought I'd be saying!

Thanks everyone for the solidarity! Nice to not be alone on this 😂

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots , my DH would be right with you. I feel for him - for the last 7 or so years it’s been feast or famine based on whether I’m on contraception, and I did feel a bit mean when I wanted it constantly when we were TTC in case he felt used… I do sort of feel a bit vindicated now that I’m massively ramped up and for once there’s no ulterior motive!

I think I’m either 10/10 up for it or 2/10 (or 0/10 when pregnant/postpartum if I’m honest) and he’s just a constant 7ish. I think so much of the narrative around mismatched sex drives is around men being keen and women not, so it feels a little odd to buck the trend.

Thanks (but not! Ha) to those who have let me know I’ve still got until menopause to deal with this! I won’t go back on hormonal contraception just to dampen it down but my god it would be nice to have some sort of middle ground!

Honestly, it sounds as if you naturally have quite a high libido (same experience when off the pill before -- and many people don’t find TTC very erotic). I do too and have never liked the pill for this reason, so haven’t taken it since early 20s. I would not have married a man who didn’t want to have sex every day or most days (actually he would want to twice a day, but that’s too much for me!).
I don’t think you should write this off as perimenopause. 37 would be young.

My wife has just come off the pill after being on it for almost 30 years, she stopped while we had our 2 kids on separate occasions, about 2 months after stopping it she was insatiable, like when we first started going out, it was incredible, she initiated it which is rare in itself, we then had risky foreplay, then off to bed with the door shut where we had sex twice. It really was amazing. She agreed to me buying some toys, I fell in love with her all over again! But a month has passed and she’s shown zero interest, I read it can take up to 6 months for your hormones to settle but I’ll be honest I’d be devastated if that was a one time thing, I’ve tried to initiate it but I’m fed up of getting the “is that all you think about” speech! Before this sex would be maybe once a month if not longer and id always have to ask for it. so I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?