Hi, I'm looking for solidarity. I have a good husband who I'm not sexually compatible with.
I tried a lot to improve things in the earlier days. And then I lied to myself that it would get better or it didn't matter.
Why? Because I'd spent decades having highly sexual relationships with otherwise unsatisfying men. Sex was never the problem otherwise.
I really did think it would get better. But then I got sick, then early menopause and I didn't even care. Dull but regular went to dull and very very rare. My libido is now back and I really would like to think that part of my life is not over but I can't even fantasise about my husband; it's like the rational part of my brain cuts over saying come on, it'll be disconnected and rubbish stop pretending. I flashback to the early days when I kept trying to spice it up and I feel annoyed.
Why did I marry him? He's an exceptional person; really really clever, very handsome, hardworking, kind, athletic, committed father to all of his children including ours. I love him. But there's no lust.
We have DC. I will not leave him and disrupt their childhood. Mine was crap. Theirs is really good and they see us be very nice to each other and cuddle a lot.
Is anyone else in a similar boat? How do you come to terms with it?