How and whether to date after being widowed.

[ByCalmBrickPanda]

I was widowed three years ago and am thinking about dating, but don’t know how to start or even whether I can face it.

For a while after Iosing my wife (and best friend) of 35 years I entered into a close romantic friendship with someone else, which was lovely, but it sadly was a little complicated because she had been a good friend of my wife’s, and we are not seeing each other anymore.

So now I find myself alone and wondering what to do. I just can’t face dating apps, but perhaps this is the only way to go. I did try one dating app for a while early on in my loss, but never met anyone as I found the whole concept unappealing and hard to trust so deleted the app.

I get out as much as I can, am sociable, volunteer, have quite a few friends etc but don’t know how to start dating or even tbh what it actually means.

Living alone is ok and I’m getting used to it, but it feels very lonely sometimes - although with 3 children in their 20s in and out the house is often quite busy.

I enjoyed being married very much and wonder if I can find this kind of warm loving and sharing relationship again. I miss it a lot.

I think I was very lucky first time around, and maybe should just accept that I am alone now, and should be grateful for what I had.

There are so many dating apps out there and as a 60 (soon to be 61) year old I don’t enjoy spending time in the online world, don’t use Facebook, and am thinking real world meet ups might be a better option for me. Maybe I should just wait and someone might turn up; I do meet nice people through my volunteering.

I’m not sure what I’m asking for, but have posted here before about other things, and received really useful responses, so I’m hoping someone might be able to offer some advice or a fresh perspective. I wish I could ask my wife, but she’s not here now. She always said I’d easily find someone else if she wasn’t around, but I think she may have got that wrong.

I am 4 years widowed and approaching 63, I did dip my toe into the dating world about a year ago but found it to be a bloody miserable place. I have now thrown myself in to a local hospice support group that do lots of walks and interesting days out for people who are bereaved, it feels more organic because we all understand what each other have been through, not everyone in the group used the hospice for their loved one but we are all bereaved and, somehow, it feels more natural.

I’ve tried online dating, I’m a woman. From a female point of view it’s an absolute jungle. It’s a good way of meeting lots of people but in my experience, not many actually want to meet a marriage partner. For some it’s a different date every week. If you’re going to do it, check the thickness of your skin.