Would you stop doing his laundry?!

[Shleepymummy]

Exactly as it says! DH never helps with laundry. We both work, him F/T me P/T as we have young children. I do everything at home cleaning wise and all laundry. Yes I am home 2 days a week but still have a lot to do. He doesn't help and often when we go up to bed of an evening he will brush his teeth and get into bed whilst I tidy up kitchen, then get washing out of machine and spend time hanging it up. By time I get into bed he's well gone. I wanna smack him in the face 🤪
I have asked for him to do a bit more but just falls on deaf ears.
so should I just stop doing his laundry until he gets the hint?!

I always think if a man (or woman) is doing less housework living with his wife and kids than he would be doing living alone, something is seriously wrong. The fact is you have kids so both adults should be doing more than they would be living alone. Only exception would be if there was a SAHP and kids are at school during the day but even then a man who does nothing is not an attractive prospect,

Yikes. Being too lazy to realise that it's only fair if everyone puts in the work is certainly a problem, but when you combine it with being insensitive and entitled to top it off, that is a horrible combo. I am sorry. Anyone with just a teaspoon amount of intelligence could put together the connection of "nagging" and "shit not being done". Sorry about this, OP. I don't know, to me, nagging is something that is otherwise not evident, not something that actually needs doing. For example, kids can be nagging about a toy that we otherwise don't need.. Or an unpleasant coworker who messed up the time that was there for a project, was late with their side of things, and now is nagging you to pick up the pace. A spouse having to remind you to do something that needs doing? That makes you a bum, not them a nag. But that's just how | see that...
Maybe include that nag-bum equation to him, to make him see that the nagging is an end result of him choosing to be an inconsiderate bum... And of course, how this label makes you feel. To see if he sees any kind of reason in that, too.

Nagging is a man’s word for being reminded of what he doesn’t want to do (and doesn’t intend to do). Stop doing his washing.

😂😂😂

Buy him his own laundry basket and just leave it, he’ll soon learn when he runs out of clean boxers!

I never get the issue with laundry. You bung it in the washing machine and then the dryer or a clothes line. Takes so little time. Now, ironing and putting clothes back up to where they belong, on the other hand, is were my gripes lie. I'd go to war over being solely responsible for this.

You have the conversation one last time and tell him that if he doesn't start taking on more of the housework then you're going to stop doing his laundry. That's it. You won't nag remind him, it's totally up to him.

You could say you'll do yours and the children because you work fewer hours outside the home but he can do his.

BTW DH and I do our own laundry anyway, not through any disagreement, just that it's easier. We each wash, dry and put away our own.

My H does all the washing. I think he has a bit of a passion for the washing machine :)

But when the eldest kid was 13 and the youngest 5, I told him to start putting everyone's (except his own) clean clothes in a large tub and I started making the kids sit together every second Sunday evening to sort, fold, and put away their clothes. It was a bit of a pain initially but it became routine. It's saved my H a lot of time AND it taught the kids to look after themselves. They all started doing their own laundry when they were 14-15.

He even changes the liners! fans self

Give that guy a medal!

I’ve never done my husband’s laundry. He’s an adult and perfectly capable of doing it himself.

I would only do someone else's laundry as a very occasional favour.

I find it weird that so many women seem to take to just doing their partner's laundry. It's like why would you want to?

I wouldn't want someone else doing my laundry in case bits of it went missing or they put it on the wrong wash etc. or mixed colours.

I found during a long and slightly old fashioned marriage, where it was easy to fall into traditional roles, that it was better to have our own defined jobs, rather than expect "help".

In our case, laundry was a job that fell to him, in its entirety, and if he, or DC (or I!) didn't have a clean shirt when needed, that was his problem to solve.

I do all the laundry in our house. I also clean the bathroom because he hates those jobs. What I don’t do is lift a finger to clean the kitchen or any pots made, i can’t remember if I have ever sorted the garden or the garage - because I don’t like doing those jobs. Next door neighbour puts the bins out and the rest of the house is a free for all for whoever gets chance to do it first and if it doesn’t get done one day because neither of us can be arsed then it doesn’t get done and nobody dies.

Both full time, though with over time he does far more hours.

It’s not about if you ALWAYS do the laundry. It’s about if you ALWAYS do everything.

The word ‘nagging’ was surely invented by some lazy bastard with a penis, just tell him what his jobs are going forward and if he continues not to do them then you reassess the relationship.

The last thing I would be doing is housework last thing at night.
Can't it be done earlier?

I know it's not relevant, I find laundry the easiest of household tasks and would far rather do that than, say, cleaning/gardening. Ive always thought it pointless leaving one person's item as it then takes a week to build up a load of whites/darks.

My husband cannot be trusted to do the laundry, he has no concept of separating lights and darks and doesn't use fabric conditioner. He was a house husband for a year and turned all my whites grey or pink. I had to make him tell his mother to stop doing my laundry when she visits as well cos she she's the same. I was horrified to find my precious white super jumbo towel on the line having been washed with bunch of darker towels on 30° with no spin. Towels should be washed on 60° with high spin and tumble dried to keep them fluffy. Now I know why all her towels are scratchy and horrible.

Sorry rant over, I am very particular about how my laundry is done. In his defence he does put his own away, I will sort it, fold it and leave the pile on his side of the bed.

I expect my husband to clean the house if he has one day off in the week

Calling what you say 'Nagging' is just men's way of saying 'shut up, woman, I'm not even listening, so stop flapping your lips.' They use it as their excuse for not doing things 'oh, you nagged me, so I'm not doing it.' Replace 'nagging' with 'asking' and you realise how ridiculous their reasoning is.

Wow ! Is there a reason he doesn’t help with the chores before bed and they can both brush their teeth and jump into bed for a cuddle and sleep at same time .

Agree! I would not leave the kitchen in a state to deal with it the next morning… I would want to give anyone a hug that isn’t pulling their weight!

I disagree. This kind of suggestion really gets my goose. He is an adult living in a home. He shares responsibilities for living there. He should be expected to identify which jobs need doing without being delegated, just as she does.