Heartbreak - 4&5 year old boys, dads leaving.

[13MAPARTHELL]

Together 10 years.

im distraught.

its a very messy situation, but now its actually happening i do not want it to, we have been not together but living together and sleeping together, the last few days he has been saying he loves me.

i went on his phone (wish i didnt) and he was sexting a girl, he has done this before, same girl - he kept her number dormant somewhere, and gave me 100 fake names, still saving her name under something else.

now, he doesn’t want to be with me - he has refused to block or delete her number, he constantly lies about her.

now its happening, my nervous system is fucked and I am panicking and my kids have additional needs & i have no family or support at all.

i hate him, i love him

hes an avoidant & ive been analysing him for years trying to work out if he loves me, and im the shit mum because im constantly feeling so broken over it, while hes dad of the year and im unsupported.

im absolutely petrified

You are scared of the future ….but it’s right now that the worst situation. How can it get worse than now?

You will continue to take care of your kids, just without the anguish of dealing with a toxic relationship of being cheated on and not knowing where you stand.

Your situation will improve when you take control of it. You are being passive and reacting to his actions. Why?

You decide what direction your life and your kids life is headed. Focus on what brings you stability and peace.That clearly doesn’t include this man.

First, I don’t think you should wish you hadn’t looked at his phone. If you trusted him, there would have been no need to do that in the first place.

Also, as the mother of his children, even if you’re not together anymore, the least you can ask for is some respect — which he definitely doesn’t seem to give you. And to be honest, you don’t seem to be asking for it either.

I can’t even imagine how hard it will be to be a single mum with children who have additional needs. But just because he is leaving or with someone else doesn’t mean he is no longer a parent or won’t be around.