Situationship

[amelia7898]

What actually are these?

It’s where women, including me at times, get into a relationship, whether casual or not, with a total nob who lures us in, fucks us about, and treats us like shit but we convince ourselves that we can ‘fix’ him, despite half the time him being quite obviously only with us for sex. Situationship sounds better than ‘getting used’.

So it’s literally just a shagging partner

Yeah but one that you’d like to be more and you make excuses up for. I’m sure someone else will be along with their definition!

It’s when you get into a relationship of some sort because the situation has thrown you together. Not because it’s a good idea or you’re a good match. E.g. With a bloke you work with a lot. Or the only other single person in the friendship group. I had one with my best mate’s boyfriend’s best mate. Constantly thrown together by social life and it just was easy and happened.

How did you go about finding yours?

Do you regret it?

That’s what I’ve always thought it means but PP has a different definition!

Why are you asking OP?

So it basically means you fancy the shit out of the other person but don’t want a proper relationship

Everyone seems to of had one but me

It ended a bit messily when I was losing interest and then he quickly met someone else he wanted a proper relationship with but not really. We were really young and it was just over one summer. I wasn’t invested it was just a bit of convenient fun at the time. It would have been horrible if I’d had deep feelings for him but then I wouldn’t have defined it as “situationship”.

You aren’t missing much! pretty meaningless and risky someone gets hurt.

Did he take you on nice dates and stuff?

Yeah but I’m single and always fantasise about having one with the plumber ffs 😂

No!! We just were all hanging about in a group having a laugh. I wouldn’t have been comfortable with seriously dating him.

so did you make the first move towards him? Like what initiated it

Years ago. Not very interesting. Ask the plumber for a drink and see what happens.

I suppose whether it carries a positive or negative connotation depends on what you’re actually looking for. I had a “situationship” (though called it FWBs) which was a casual and mutually beneficial arrangement where I dated and have sex with somebody I really liked and who made me laugh, but neither of us wanted or expected it to follow the “relationship escalator” route of falling in love, becoming partners, moving in together etc. It was great.

If you’re doing the above but one person is hoping that it will become something more and that the other person will wake up one day and realise they’re in love - that’s the negative side.

How did you meet? I suppose that’s what I’m struggling with at the moment

No, I think you want a fwb (if he's interesting and fun to be around) or a fuck buddy (if he's hot but not got much chat) or a relationship (if he's hot, interesting, fun to be around, single, financially and emotionally sound, not got baggage)... but (like a decent plumber) these last type are incredibly hard to find!

Probably more of a fwb. Would like to do some nice dates as well but not too serious. It’s just how do I go about getting one and taking it to the next stage

We met on Tinder. He was on business in London from NYC and his profile said: “I travel the world with my job, and evenings on your own in an unfamiliar city quickly loses its charm. Looking to meet adventurous, interesting locals for some tall cocktails and long stories. NB: this is not code for a hookup or ONS.” Well, I thought that was totally code for a hookup or ONS - and he was really pretty, and I was up for one; so I responded. We went out, we did have sex after, and then the following day he said “I had a great time with you last night and not just the sex - how about you come visit me at home in NYC next month?” I did, it was great, for the next five years or so we just carried on meeting every month or so when he was in London or I went out to NYC.

What you’re looking for isn’t difficult to find, as long as you’re upfront about what you’re looking for, clear with each other about the limitations, and not going into anything with preconceived ideas.

wow. I wish that could happen to me but I have just had no luck with hinge or tinder so far. Like I might match with someone once in a while but they don’t really respond after a few texts. What is your advice on that? So when you flew to NYC what did you do with him?

What's stopping you asking the plumber if he's single and would fancy a drink?

If he's a half decent bloke he won't be hitting on women he meets in the course of his work, word of mouth is everything and getting a reputation as the sleazy workman that hits on customers means he probably won't make the first move!

Just feel awkward doing it