Completely shattered after partner cheated

[TimeTraveller2718]

please don’t post on social media

I’ve been with my partner for most of my 20s and I’m now 28. We lived together and, until recently, I believed we had a very happy relationship. We were even talking about marriage kids and a future together.

earlier this year he became very unwell and ended up in hospital. For weeks we didn’t know what was wrong as doctors were running tests and couldn’t give answers. It was incredibly stressful and I was beside myself with worry.

Since then we found out he has a serious health condition caused by an STI. Although it can be cured. At that point he had to admit that he cheated on me and slept with someone else around 7-8 months ago.

I am completely broken. I’ve had to be tested and I’m currently waiting for my results, which is very anxiety-inducing. The relationship is over and I’ve moved back in with my family.

I’m struggling to cope with the shock of it all. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I feel like my whole life has been pulled out from under me. I know that my life isn’t over, but emotionally it feels that way. He kept this from me for months, and acted completely normally, and I had absolutely no suspicion.

I feel devastated, betrayed and frightened about the future. I don’t know how I will ever be happy or trust someone again

I had my results back and I am all clear, very relieved. Time to put this past me and move on with my life x

Brilliant news OP and well done for walking away without listening to nonsense excuses. Enjoy the rest of your life x

Thank heavens! I hope therapy will help you heal from this. Good luck, OP.

That is a relief, @TimeTraveller2718 . Now that you are not being held back a potential nasty "parting gift", the very much needed healing can start, leading to a new, happier life. Good luck to you!

It is horrible. This was me a few months ago. I honestly thought I wouldn’t shake it off. I was in a state of shock, but what I didn’t expect was my body to react in such shock. I physically couldn’t eat, I was paranoid, constantly checking the other woman’s profile (in my case my ex had a weird double life and she was very vocal about their meet ups on her socials).

I feel better now. But it has taken time and ALOT of time with trusted friends that gave me the time and ears. And created moments for me to getaway and focus on something else.

What a horrible man.

How are you feeling today OP? X

It's no way to start a marriage. The trust would be gone for me.

I woke up feeling really awful. He hasn’t said a word to me, and I know that not speaking is 100% but it feels very uncomfortable.

I’m sitting here feeling all of this, while it seems like he’s fine. I know I shouldn’t assume how he’s feeling, but it still makes the whole thing feel a bit lonely. Weekends are really hard

You need time to process it. It’s a huge shock. Hopefully you can split the finances very much in your favour given the stress you have been through.

Im pleased you are all clear on the test result front but honestly you have had a lucky escape from this man. Every the optimist it’s a positive that this hasn’t come out years later when you have children and it’s harder. Of course you want to talk to him, to rage, to get answers- and for comfort he was the love of your life. So he is your go to person. That’s gone.

Keep busy, run, play loud music, drive into a forest and scream and cry. I did a lot of mine in the car in the middle of nowhere. But you will survive. Please try not to contact him - it is likely he will feel very sorry for himself and that’s the last thing right now to need.

OP has he not even asked your results, if not then at least you know now he didn’t care as much as you did. Life is crap sometimes, do you have friends that you can see today for some support.

Oh OP, you’re going to feel all the emotions because you’re not a selfish piece of 💩 like your ex is. You've had a lucky escape that you found all this out before marriage, kids and the chance for him to infect you. I had been with my partner for 10 years when I discovered he’d been cheating with random women from dating sites. I wasn’t as brave as you, and 15 years later I am definitely regretting not LTB.

Take time to heal, focus on yourself an needs, it’s ok to be a bit selfish and look after yourself.

I also wouldn’t protect him when it comes to people asking why you’d broke up. I would be brutal and tell the truth - not only did he cheat on you, but he risked your health (and reproductive health) by having unprotected sex when he was cheating, and you only found out because he ended up being hospitalised from an STD. Don’t sugarcoat it, let everyone know how abhorrent he is.

Really wish you a brighter future with someone who truly deserves you x x