He loves me... He loves me not...

[DazedEmma]

Ok, in a nutshell...

Found out I was pregnant, my ex bf (who i'd broken up with but still got together now and then to you know, accidentally make a baby!!) pissed off and told me he isn't ready for this. He's MUCH older than me and has been married before (my fault he isn't still married but anyway) and since then he has recently come to his senses and wants to be a dad and he's been so lovely.

I don't know if this is sincere, feels like I'm waiting for him to do one again when it gets tough. I know he has to be part of babies life and i'm happy with that and i really like him but feel almost scared to go 'there' again in case he breaks my heart again. Will i ever let the fact that he abandoned me initally go and trust him?

[umberella]

mm. i wouldn't i'm afraid.

but i'm a cynical old bag.

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Once the baby is born and gets older it will matter so much more if he ups and leaves again as it will affect him/her. I'm not saying don't take him back, but make him prove himself, don't do it until you are really sure.

[missingtheaction]

not only has he run scared from you, he's left a previous marriage for another woman (you).

What's the question - are you considering a termination? If you are planning to keep the baby, and he is the dad, then you will have to have a relationship of some sort with him anyway.

He hasn't 'come to his senses' by the way. He has faced up to his responsibilities in a way that many men wouldn't - you got pregnant by him accidentally as a result of uncommitted casual sex. It's not surprising he took off initially, this is the last thing he was expecting. He is also old enough to have a good idea of what he is taking on. I think he's done pretty well so far.

This doesn't answer your question - 'will you ever trust him' - who knows? But whatever happens to your relationship you are now bound to him as father of your child. It might be better to NOT have a relationship with him if you think your relationship will be full of mistrust. Just let him be a committed dad without the complication of a committment to you too.

[ScottishMummy]

sorry to you are feeling vulnerable when pg

sorry but he has a poor track record
left wife
left you pg
came back but for how long

what do your instincts tell you?
do you feel secure?
does he support you financially?
what happens when baby arrives have you made plans with dad
only you know whether you can feel secure and satisfied with this man
many couples do overcome difficulties with essentially good communication and trust

i do so hope things work out and that you and baby remain healthy