I have been married for 5 years. The first year we dated, our sex life was relatively good although not intense. After a few months, he actually rejected me when I initiated. I will never forget what he said. Basically, that sex was not a nice thing to want from me, that is was « dirty », and that I was better than that. At the time, I knew he was suffering from severe depression, so I thought it was just something he said out of nowhere because he was unwell. But now that I reflect on this, does this sound like someone who suffered from abuse during childhood?
He has always been loving with me and we had a great relationship, apart from sex. We got married, had a child, and then a second. But to have these children, it felt very forced, he didnt enjoy it I could tell, it was like we were having sex just to be pregnant, not for pleasure.
my second is 8 months old now. We still didn’t have sex at all and I don’t think we will. I am more and more convinced there is an issue and it’s not only due to his depression. When talking about homosexuality he would always act strange. Almost defensive. He had and has lots of gay men friends and colleagues. I’m 100% sure nothing ever happened, but I’m wondering if he has no sexual desire for me because he is actually repressed. I don’t know how to talk about it with him without hurting him.
if anyone had any experience in a similar situation please let me know. Am I jumping to conclusions or is it obvious that he isn’t straight/has some kind of trauma preventing him from having a healthy sexuality?