Work on yourself

[IslaSkywalker]

What exactly does this mean?

You have issues that need to be addressed by yourself, and I can’t be arsed to deal with them anymore

It means you are exhibiting behaviours that will damage or are already damaging relationships that are important to you.

It can also be said by deeply unpleasant men as away if deflecting responsibility for their own behaviour.

Who said it, in what circumstances.

Depends on the context.

Agree with PP it depends on context. It could be you have issues you need to work through or it could mean be single for a while and work out what you truly want. Context is everything

If I’d said it, I’d have meant exactly what @Coldtoots said.

I’m doing that right now…. Basically a lot of self reflection and trying to understand what I need to improve or / and change before developing an action plan to make that a reality.

Thanks. Nobody's saying it to me. I've seen it on here. This explains it well.

Depending on context, I would interpret it to mean any or all of the following:

• pay attention to my own behavior within relationships and friendships, especially before criticizing others
• do the work/shadow work to heal my own traumas so that I am not expecting those closest to me to heal them for me or to fill a void I have within myself
• take reasonable responsibility for my own well-being so that I both value myself enough to expect respect and good treatment from others and so that I am not (overly) dependent on other people for my physical or emotional survival (taking into account that we can’t all take perfect care of ourselves and we are all and should all be interdependent to some degree)
• not expect other people to fix problems that I myself have caused and am capable of fixing

A lot of the time it’s said on here when someone makes a thread where they’re jumping from one crap man to the next barely pausing for breath and repeating the same mistakes.

I would say that it is to recognise habitual behaviours that are causing you mental instability and self-inflicted harm,
Once those behaviours are recognised to have the ability to choose a different way of being until the new habit becomes second nature.
The goal is to undo all those behaviours so that a calmer, more peaceful, relaxed and happier person evolves and one that doesn't keep repeating the same old cycle.
Self reflection and guidance through self reflection is a good way to start, either by therapy, reading or a good teacher.