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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gone off spouse

1 reply

SugarSpice2020 · 02/03/2026 02:13

Anyone else find so many things they see their spouse doing that just puts them OFF?? My husband and I are not getting on well past few years. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why I’ve gone off him physically but I think an accumulation of various physical & emotional things.

I’m only writing this now as something has really put me off and I’m finding it hard to be pleasant as I am masking disgust - I finished dinner for daughter & myself while he was out (went out knowingly he’d eat later). I’m getting ready for bed when he comes in & starts cooking a very smelly meal (which, as my 6 year old charmingly put it, “looked like diarrhoea” when he bought it ;) ). He is now eating it mostly with his fingers- so gross & greasy I guess this is a normal Sunday night kinda thing for him, what he did growing up . For me it’s a total turn - off, especially as it’s no secret how long he’ll soon spend in the bathroom, sorry, TMI!

I didn’t say anything as I don’t want to fight (again) about his meal habits. But you can’t really disguise how you feel, right? As in, I am not feeling affectionate right now or interested in being near him! He probably wonders why.
and how can you feel romantic when someone just grosses you out?! Maybe he feels the same about me sometimes.

anyway, rant over. Just interested to know if others have similar experiences - and how to deal with an amorous partner when sex is the LAST thing on your mind with them?!

OP posts:
Properjob · 02/03/2026 04:31

Sounds like you have some basic incompatibilities OP. Have you tried pointing out your reactions to his behaviour, stressing it's the behaviour and not 'him'?
Does he keep himself clean, though?
Is he a good partner in other ways?
You never have to have sex when you dont want to. Make sure he knows your feelings, men can be exceptionally dense.

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