How did you tell he was seeing someone else

[LuckyOliveDeer]

My partner has become really distant, doesn’t want affection, seems irritated by me, and pushes me away. Just a few days ago, he wasn’t like this. He says he just wants space and “doesn’t want anything,” but won’t explain properly. He did mention meeting someone but I don’t have definite proof.
I feel I should add he does this sometimes after he’s been out for the day.
For those who later discovered their partner was seeing someone else, what were the clues for you, and how did you eventually find out?
I don’t want to lose him to someone else

All I can say is don't do the pick me dance if there is an ow because that's a greenlight for him to treat you badly and do what he wants
Sorry you're going through this.
Hopefully others can advise.

It doesn't sound good OP.

When you say he mentioned meeting someone else how did he meet them and why did he tell you that he had?

If this type of behaviour is not new i think you would be wrong to put up with being treated this way. If he won't have the decency to actually tell you why he has started behaving so unpleasantly to you this time then you need to give him an ultimatum. You deserve honesty and decency in your relationship. Better to finish it than allow yourself to be treated badly.

I'm sorry op, this is exactly how my husband was when he was cheating on me. Its was awful and very confusing. He eventually told me as I pushed really hard. At first I thought maybe he was depressed or something had happened at work. But I was nudging him to book a holiday we were planning to take that year and he kept putting it off and I put two and two together.
I never would have found the evidence. I had no idea until then you could create hidden chats in whatsapp and things like that.
His routine was also off. He started walking the dog as soon as he came in from work- which drove me mad as its a busy time in our house! Turns they were walking their dogs together remotely (how cute...🙄).
The advice above is good advice. Don't do the pick me. I won't bore you with the details but the thing that turned things around for us was me telling him to leave. A few days later he'd ended things with her and was asking to come home.

Uh, that is so unfortunate, so sorry you are going through this. Well, if he did mention meeting someone else, there is not much else you need for proof, @LuckyOliveDeer . It wasn't something you saw by chance, stumble across by accident. If he said it himself, what else is there to wonder?

I agree with pp that say don't bend over backwards. Why would anyone? That man chose to be with others, why compete for his affection? It is by no sense of the word worth it. You don't deserve to be cheated on, and to be treated badly, please, have some self-respect and let those who wish to be elsewhere be elsewhere.

Is this the bloke that threatened you?

OP is this the same man who sent you the weird message threatening you?

OP if he’s met someone else and told you, it’s already over. You don’t need proof, he’s told you he needs space so don’t contact him. It sounds like he regularly goes out, hooks up and isn’t pleasant to you afterwards. Why do you stay with him? This isn’t what a healthy relationship should be like.
If he’s the one who sent you the message, was that because you were contacting him? Please don’t, it doesn’t sound safe for you if he’s being threatening.

He's as good as told you that he 'met someone' so you have your answer. It sounds like a pattern if this happens regularly. He meets a woman casually and then pushes you away. Don't put up with it as he's treating you as the fall back girl every time he does this. Please end it with him as this is not a healthy relationship.

The French call it - cinq à sept. Literally means 5pm - 7pm. The time when 'working late' really means they slope off to meet their affair partner.

Mine became frequently absent during this time in a job where overtime or working late was never a thing. He also stopped demanding sex twice a day.

He was a nasty bastard, so I let her have him. She got more than she bargained for with him I'm afraid. Bet she won't shag anyone else's partner again........