I speak about my feelings too much

[Hippychickbbbb]

I’ve been told that I’m a pain in the ass I’m when I’m upset I talk about my feelings a lot i don’t mean to I can’t forgive myself I hate myself for that I apologise for this I’m trying not to

Who has told you this?

I really didn’t mean to talk about my feelings and over share I was trying to work on the marriage he said his feelings too I was very distressed I wasn’t trying to trauma dump I can’t forgive my self I’ve said sorry several times over it he was saying keep to yourself I hate myself everyday for over sharing my feelings I really didn’t mean to I’d come off antidepressants and lowered my antipsychotic to a low lose this gave me extreme feelings, that were hard to control, I miss being close to him please don’t judge me I was going through a lot I have a councillor and talk to helplines, I’m avoiding over sharing with friends and family I’m learning from my mistakes, he said I was a pain in the ass around my period when I talk about things more I can’t help it I’m looking for support

Some people do overshare but for ( I presume) DH to say you are not allowed to talk about your feels shows him to be a arse .

However some people do find it had to know what to say when their partner/ family/ friends are in a emotionally charged state.

Could you agree between you both have x amount of time to express your worries and concerns . 5 or 10 mins of uninterrupted calm conversation may help.

Alternatively, could you write down your feelings/ concerns, and keep sort of a rolling diary. Then wait a week or two and reread it , is it still worrying you ? Bring it up . If it's not cross it out.

What does oversharing to your husband look like ?

You’ve had a lot of support over the six years you’ve been posting this stuff. You don’t take any advice, you become angry and defensive, you drop out of sight for a while and then the whole cycle starts up again. What do you actually want from us, op? What is it that you actually want us to do? As I said in your last post all of two days ago, you need more help than Mumsnet can give. Your continuing inability to engage with any advice - and several Mumsnetters have spent a lot of time and expended a lot of patience trying to help you over the years - only leads to frustration and an unwillingness to expend any more energy on you.
I can’t help you, I have no answers. But what I do know is the answer isn’t to continually unload your trauma on here.

Sorry OP but I agree with a PP. You’re not in a healthy relationship. You need RL professional advice.

I said what I wanted advice on how to stop talking so much about things it’s a habit I’d like to break I’m not angry and I was just stating a opinion on the fact that I don’t agree with the word trauma dumping that was all I have sort councling so I don’t talk too much to other people about things I do journaling and talk to helplines I’m not defensive just explaining myself

Part of it is making a decision not to wallow in your pain anymore. I have a lot of trauma in my past and it would dominate my thinking and intimate conversations. You do need therapy I’m not advocating for just shutting it down and ignoring the problem but it does get to a point where therapy cannot happ anymore and the work must come from you.

personally I was repeatedly treated badly by men. I then learnt that abusive men often seek out women with trauma history as they are more susceptible to the initial love bombing and then the control. So I made a decision not to share my history with new partners until at least 6-12 months in (it used to feel like I needed to disclose it). That made me talk about other things which led to me thinking of it less and less and now I hardly think of my trauma at all.

my partner does know the just but no details. HOWEVER if he ever called me a pain in the arse for going on too much I’d break up with him. I do talk a lot especially around periods and that’s who I am if a partner didn’t like that he could fuck off. Making your personality more than just your trauma history does not mean forming the personality a partner wants!! Talking a lot and needing a partners support at times is also normal and healthy and not something you should be squashing.

maybe your first step is when you feel it going round and round in your head making you want to talk it over then you need to find things and activities to distract yourself. Ask for your partners support to distract you. If he won’t help then leave him that’s not a partnership

Thats not very nice telling me not to post on here, im looking for support!. i have taken advice, i had seen three councilors ,i write in a journal ,i can post if i want to im not being defensive! just its suppost to be a supoortive forum , telling me not to post isnt what i need to hear i have been in with a very at times nasty husband who has in the past been horrible to me, i was reaching out for support over the years .

, I didnt realise how much i was talking about things thats my whole point i ve said ive tried to talk about things alot less im not being defensive just explaining ,if im not aware of how much im doing something then it wasnt my fault i was over sharing my feelings ive a aplogised to him 4 times for over sharing my feelings i care, i felt terrible for doing it ,he stopped loving me just cause i told a friend he was being abusive id tried to get the support of womans aid they said he was being abusive , to say not to post on here is cruel when im trying to reach out for support ,im now at risk of being homeless and living by my self after living with him since 2006 i went to jennys after he tried to push me out the tent she came to our house and called him a nasarsist ! I live every day with regret of going to jenny and codys for support so ive reached out on here for support i never in a million years thought he would end the marrage i tried to get away from him when he punched the door in i went to my mums she said never do this to her again if i do she will post me back ,this was cruel she said my desperate messages makes her want to hide her phone she said she would be furious if i got a taxi to see her she keeps saying i cant live with her, ive apologised to my daughter for any aruguements i had.

and any late night discussions he never tried to end the conversation he just let me talk so like i keep saying i had no idea ! He has to sell the house im terrfied of being on my own we used to be close then he cpuldnt handle my allergies, and he was nasty so i reached out on here for support . My mum can be cruel so can he i hate them both at times.i dont say to debbie anymore about anything as shes depressed and cant handle it ,i try to not over burden my mum i ask her about her day new dog, i just talk to him about light things if i try to lower the dose of risperdal it makes me very emotional and cry lots its a powerful drug ,i wasnt psychotic they forced fed me 8mg of risperdal in the ward, he was supportive when i got sectioned i got sectioned for accidently braking a door and having ticks, repeated words .and making involantary body movements sounds it wasnt my fault !

You don’t get sectioned for accidentally breaking a door OP. Or for having tics. You need to speak to the psychiatrist who prescribed this medication. You don’t seem very self aware here.

You have been asked questions and you have just ignored and ploughed on with what you want to tell us, at length.

@Hippychickbbbb are you safe lovely? Can you reach out to any real life support?
Women’s Aid again? Please keep reaching out until you get the support you need. (Mumsnet isn’t really a safe space for you) x

I did get sectioned for accidentally breaking a door and having ticks the door was locked I tried to open it , it broke, I said repeated words made vocal sounds, talked rubbish to the mirror ,shuffled my feet it came on from stress they sectioned me after the door broke, it was a accident they also called a home treatment team just because I had a go at him over calling me a worthless cunt and had a go at him over not letting me come with him to take my daughter to school , I had a lady turn up unexpectedly saying she wanted to check weather I was well ,I was in bed my hair was a bit messy she referred me to the home treatment team cause some of my hair was sticking out the side , they are strict on mental health

I have answered the questions it’s not demented crap it’s my life that’s been destroyed and about to get worse it’s not my fault he called me mental for crying too hard he said I was crying crocodile tears once I said my scalp was burning he said he would rip my hair off, he once told me to kill my self he used to punch the wall near my head he pushed me on the bed and sprayed deodorant in my face my mum pushed me too as I work her up when I was living with her I cried and said I just want a normal relationship he said that depends on you you talk about your feelings you talk about your job he slammed the door in my face I keep phoning helplines they say it’s good to talk about your feeling . I was misdiagnosed with psychosis I keep reaching out for support from my mum she is too busy to see me and doesn’t answer her phone she took me after I turned up after he punched a huge whole through the door the family worker doesn’t know about that I’m too scared to tell her

OP, gently, you keep posting asking the exact same question frequently. You have been given excellent advice on here many times but ignore it. What are you hoping for?

Thankfully the child is under primary care of the husband

It’s good you are seeing a counsellor as that’s the place to work on emotional regulation strategies. Contact someone in real life today if you’re not feeling so good. I agree with pp that mumsnet isn’t a safe space for you, or for anyone really if feeling vulnerable.

OP, l havent seen any of your previous posts but reading what you have written today it's clear that you are very troubled and you sound very vulnerable. Please contact your GP and/ or mental health team today for support as you definitely need some help. It sounds like your medication needs adjusting as you mention you have been lowering the dose and that's not a good thing to do without professional advice. Please look after yourself and seek advice medical help as soon as you can.