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Original poster

Am I in the wrong

10 replies

Squashandasqueeeze · 27/02/2026 23:05

With my partner 2 years. I have 3 children from a previous relationship, he has 2 from previous relationship. We now have a baby girl together.
We wanted to go on holiday before I was too far into pregnancy but never ended up going.
My children are being taken on holiday with their dad (my ex) his gf and her children.
I have said we could go away with our baby and have our break whilst my kids are away as I am their primary carer and wont have to worry about childcare as they are away with their dad.
My partner is refusing to go on holiday with me and the baby unless we took his 2 other children with us. I have said I would like the peace and that sometimes it should just be us 3 doing things together as our child m shouldnt go without one to one with us. I feel it wouldnt be fair to take his on a family and not mine. His children do things with their mother that mine dont do and I dont demand we only take mine to do something similar.
An I wrong?
Very close to booking holiday for just myself and baby at this point

OP posts:
Idontthinkicandothisanymore · 27/02/2026 23:15

Just go with your baby

TY78910 · 27/02/2026 23:18

Tough one. I’m assuming that his 2 DC are mostly with their mum? And since your 3 + baby are mostly with you (day to day) you tend to do things with your little family unit which includes your kids from previous relationships and not his. So for him it probably feels disproportionate and taking his DC on holiday is a way of making up for that.

Copperoliverbear · 27/02/2026 23:22

Go with your baby on your own x

Original poster
Squashandasqueeeze · 27/02/2026 23:24

We have his children pretty much 50/50.
They join us on any outing or trip. We have never gone anywhere as a family just us and my children, not even the cinema. I bring his children to events like my sons rugby tour camping etc. So id get it if we left them out. If anything, my kids miss out doing things with me because I get stepmum guilt that his children arent with us so I dont. Silly things like a mcdonalds tea night, we wait untill we have all the kids to have a treat.

OP posts:
SunflowerTed · 28/02/2026 00:04

It’s a difficult one with so many kids to consider

Silverbirchleaf · 28/02/2026 00:07

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to want to go away with the two of you, plus baby.

HeddaGarbled · 28/02/2026 00:15

It’s just a difficult time for the children when there’s a new baby. I think you have to be extra sensitive not to make them feel like they’re being pushed out.

TwistedWonder · 28/02/2026 00:22

There’s lot of drama and stress for 2 year relationship.
You’ve moved very quickly to blend families so maybe it’s just all too much too soon.

I do get why you want a break with just you two and your baby without the other kids.

I would be completely honest and tell
him you just need a few days breathing space without the pressure of kids.

I do feel you need to stop letting your own kids miss out because of your guilt though. The adults chose this situation, your kids didn’t.

Endofyear · 28/02/2026 07:35

I can see his point - he doesn't want to go on holiday without his kids. You've only been together two years and you've already added a new baby to the mix. I expect he doesn't want his children to feel left out.

SENDChaos · 01/03/2026 03:27

Are holidays with his children you already do or have previously done?

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