I'll start by saying that DD and I do have a close relationship enough for her to tell me many aspects about her life including her sex life, I'm ok with that but not sure exactly what to say as tbh, I've only ever had one relationship with DH as we've been together since we were 16.
DD (almost 18) is still a virgin. She has only wanted to have sex for the first time with someone she completely trusts and feels at ease with so although all of her friends lost their virginity some time ago many regret who with and DD says she doesn't want that. She has had two previous short lived relationships but ended them as the boys both seemed possessive, telling her what to do or where she can/can't go and so she ended things.
Her current bf is the same age. They were at school together and have been dating for a couple of months. He genuinely seems a lovely lad, very polite and buys her gifts all the time and appears to respect her.
However, she discovered a while ago that he smokes weed when with his friends, this is a few times a month (although could be more of course). DD is very anti-drugs (my sister's ss is tangled up in a county lines mess). She's let it go as it's only a few times a month and they haven't mentioned it since but I know it irks her.
She also discovered last week that her bf w**ks off to porn every day. She says although they have not yet had full sex they do other stuff and she has noticed when she gives him a hand job he never ejaculates and she is concerned this is to do with the daily porn watching/self pleasuring and she worries he is or will become addicted. She also says she always initiates any sexual contact with him he never does. She is really upset, was crying about it this morning and says she doesn't know what to do or if she should end things with him but she really does love him. She's also concerned, his mum and dad are divorced due to his dad's constant affairs and always on tinder (apparently he's still on tinder even though he is in a relationship!), I suppose she has this like father like son worry. Although he does seem different to his dad.
She has spoken to all of her friends and they all say none of their bf's have this issue during sex.
Tbh part of me wants to stick my fingers in my ears and say 'La la la, I don't want to know about your sex life' but I know she is confinding in me and and I want to give her the best advice I can.
I've said the best starting point is to be open and honest and to tell him her fears and concerns and to say that excessive porn watching is not something that aligns with her values in life and she's not sure if she could commit long term with someone who seems addicted. If he agrees to stop then he respects her, if not then she will have to revaluate the relationship. She's very sad because they get on so well and she says so far he has treated her better than any other boy (DD is very attractive and is aware the attention she often gets is because of her looks and nothing else and that often upsets her, she wants someone who love her for her, not her figure or looks).
What advice would you give if this was your DD?