Father hates my partner and his family

[anonymouss472828]

Back story, my dad didn’t like my sons father or his family we were together for 10 years and we split due to on going cheating, fast forward I’m in a new relationship I have been for 5 years and surprise my dad doesn’t like him or his family and says horrible nasty stuff about them and when I told my dad we were pregnant fair to say he wasn’t best pleased
my ex and now partner are completely different people and he has no reason to hate him, he hated him before he even met him because of his job.
i feel so stuck in middle and because ive distanced myself a little due to all this and horrible things my dad has said to me in past (eg im a bad mum as I couldn’t afford to get sons hair cut for 5 weeks when I become a single mum after me and ex split) and that’s just the half of it.

if I fully cut him off he says he will go to court for grandparents rights to see my son but my son doesn’t want to see him even though I try as hard as I can to make sure they have a relationship.

I just don’t get how he can be like this and I can really say how I really feel about it all and I just get shut down and it’s everyone fault but his and now at a loss what to do as it’s causing so much stress for me while being pregnant

I suspect your life would be much better if you cut contact.

At the very least, don't make your son spend time with someone he hates. Why would you want him to have a relationship with the man who makes your life miserable, so presumably would him too?

In short: There is no such a thing as grandparents' rights. Not in a legal sense, at least, so good luck to him chasing something that is not there.
Sorry your father is an abusive dick. I sympathise, my father - if I can even all him that - is a horrible human, who did nothing but hurt everyone around him.

If your son would at least love him, and would like to spend time with his grandad, I would maybe lean towards thinking about some solution, but it is clear as day that the best he can do to any of you is stay the hell away.

I used to be berated by wider family members who are thick in the head, who religiously believe in "blood" and that I "have to" be in touch because of the blood relations - and to that, i say, F no. And I would like you to be very conscious of this: You are not a bad person for cutting out people of your life who bring negativity and hurt. You are responsible for your own happiness, and your son's well-being. It is that simple.

Just cut contact for God sake! You don't like him, your son doesn't like him, and he's threats are completely impotent. He's just a bully.

Sorry to read this OP. My parents divorced in the early nineties owing to my Dad running off with another woman. He had little if any contact with either myself or my sister from then till he died. He left little to me in his will and cut my sister out completely. He met his only grandchild on probably 4 occasions in his life (he's 24 now) and interviewed my girlfriend now wife of 20+ years when he met her for the first time at his office sat behind his desk being The Big I Am. My wife commented at the time that she'd have put her interview suit ion if she'd known. I left the UK because of this ongoing nonsense and got on with my life. I hope you can to. Best of luck to you.