Respect/Appreciation

[ImperialGoddess]

What does feeling appreciated look like for you?

I am a SAHM. I love my son dearly and I feel very fortunate I get to stay home with my kid, because I know most parents do not get that luxury. But on top of being a SAHM, I have a very PT job (10-15 hours at most), take care of both the cars, my horse, 2 dogs, cleaning, laundry, appointments, my son's therapy, grocery shopping, managing both of our properties, finances, cooking and other random things.

I do not feel appreciated. And I don't know if I'm expecting too much because my husband does go to work and he provided us with a very good life, and when he gets home he typically takes over for the evening so I can go to the gym/work with my horse. I don't want to be ungrateful. But even when I am sick I feel like I have the weekend to get better because my husband reminds me "that I need to get better because I need to take care of our son." He is always thanking me for all that I do but I don't feel like it is enough. I had to take over finances a couple years ago because my husband wasn't watching our money and we were drowning, because of me now we have a good savings and don't go overboard each month. But I don't know what "being appreciated" would look like either.

What more can he do, he thanks you for all you do, takes over of an evening, respect and appreciation is mutual, do you respect him. I don’t see what you are asking from him, what do you want, that you think is missing.

Is this a reverse?

So once he's back you don't share the childcare, you just swan off? You've got it made babe.

What do you need from him?

I dont really understand what else he can do. Appreciate were only looking in, but it sounds like you have it quite good.

I did what you are doing, with 2 children, fully responsible for a house, a van and car, working 24 hours a week, all the kids hobbies etc, all myself as a single parent for 6 years. And as a single parent I had no one to take over and I couldn't escape to a gym or a class

I just had to appreciate myself and my life and pay myself on the back.

Do you appreciate the life you have and yourself? Because if you dont, your DP cant win!

Agree with others, what exactly is it you want from him that he isn’t doing OP?

Absolutely, you must be managing finances well to have a horse, 2 additional properties, gym membership…
and agree with pp, he’s at work all day, comes home, takes over childcare… is there equal don/hobby time?
are you wanting his hobby to be @ImperialGoddess appreciation?

Sounds like you don’t appreciate him OP.

As long as he isn't mean or sexist or doesn't help when you're ill etc
If he doesn't take the piss and regular compliments you or prioritises you and family then that's pretty good, I'd say

Thank you all for your feedback. I do appreciate him, which is why I do all the things that I do. Which is why I asked.

And we have one additional property, but its not because we want that property. We are stuck with it due to a situation that was out of our control, and we can hopefully sell it in two years. We pays about $500 out of pocket each month even though we get rent for it.

His hobby is he is a gamer, which I fully support.

Thanks again for the feedback.