Mothers Day

[Girlmum72]

Just wondering if it would be unreasonable if I didn't buy MIL mothers day gift this year from our children.
MIL never arranges to see us and when we ask to see her, she makes excuses. Would it be reasoble to tell DH he is to take over doing his side of the families gifts from now on?
I feel I'm over thinking things.

Yeah, do it.

It annoys me that somehow men's family occasions suddenly become their partner's to deal with.

Then wonder why a lot of them are so selfish and shit with partner's birthdays etc.

They're not incapable of thought and a card, let them fail if they can't be arsed.

Would it be reasoble to tell DH he is to take over doing his side of the families gifts from now on?

Regardless of whatever else is going on, why would that be unreasonable?

Hi @Girlmum72 . Not at all. I don't think it's fair to just expect it from anyone to just take it all over, both sides.. If someone can't even be arsed to spend a thought on what to gift their loved ones, and is unable to get anything nice or meaningful, that is on them.

You do not need to act as his PA for his side of the family. He is capable of buying items for his mother for Mother’s Day. And why would your kids send her a Mother’s Day gift at all?!!

Sorry but why do your children give your MiL Mothers Day gifts?

Surely she is their grandmother and they don't need to buy her anything.

It's your DH's mother so he should be the one buying her a gift..

You shouldn't be responsible for her gifts anyway!

She's not your mother.

Tell dh to do it himself.

It is his Mother and Mother's Day so he should be doing it anyway.

We used to do Grandma cards for our Mums from the children but that was because they were involved in their lives and absolutely loved spending time with our children.

You are not over thinking, she's not your mother. Let your DH buy her a card. No need to send anything from the children if she's not involved in their lives.

It’s Mother’s Day. Not Grandmother’s Day.

Thanks for making me feel I'm not being unreasonable.

Of course you're not. It's his bloody mum.

I don't think it means as much to the receiver either, when you're aware your own child isn't bothering but getting their partner to do it.

As an ‘ancient’ mother of two sons, it is and always has been their role to give me recognition on Mothering Sunday. I only would like flowers and a card.
i know they appreciate me all through the year.
If my GCs want to join in that’s fine, but they have their own mothers to appreciate.
you are not being unreasonable at all.

He should be doing it anyway. My MIL is lovely, but never in 18 years have I bought her Mother’s Day gift. She’s not my mum. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely reasonable, do it. Communication goes both ways, if it never reciprocates why should you even try?