Husband's affair

[Zunni]

Hi all.

First time here. Feeling upset and needed to let it out.
I have been married for 13 years and have 3 kids.
My husband has a history of infidelity secret accounts (talking to other women), dating sites aswell as other stuff.

I recently found his messages with a "friend" saying he loves her, offering to take her out for drinks, even cinema, planning catch ups in the evening. When I asked him about this he claimed that they are long term friends and she is married.
He is doing god knows what with this friend.
While I am a stay at home mum and hardly have time to do my own stuff.

I dont feel like staying for the kids is an option anymore.

Have any mums been through similar. What did you do? x

I am so sorry you are going through this @Zunni . There is not much to salvage, he repeatedly disrespects your relationship and hurts you. If I were you, I would start organising a divorce... Talk to a solicitor. It is better to be single than chained to the wrong person. And by the sound of it, he is the wrong person. Believe me when I say this - Staying together for kids is not worth it. Think about it: Do you want to have your kids grow up while it's normalised that their mother is so incredibly unhappy? And in the future, if this happened to your kids what you are going through, would you tell them to stay with a cheating, lying spouse or exit such a toxic setup? They need you to be happy and balanced, rather than suffering and sad locked in a relationship with their father.

He won’t change, he is a nasty, self centred piece of shit that does not respect you or his children. My exH did this - I divorced him, I decided I was worth more than this and left - you need to do the same.

See a solicitor and get everything in place, you can and will provide a lovely stable home and life with your children- teaching them that you won’t tolerate bad behaviour. You owe it to yourself to leave.

@exhaustDAD sorry i should have written mum or dads.
Thank you, very true about my kids. Would hate for them to be in my situation. Think I know what to do next.

So sorry this has happened to you. I don’t know how you begin but please stay strong and move forward. I was in your position and stayed for the kids. He has continued for 15 years and only now is it over. Don’t be me.