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Original poster

Is this entitled behaviour from a 24 year old?

26 replies

donttellthem · 22/02/2026 09:20

It was my relative's big birthday recently and she took the extended family out for a meal. Her daughter (an only child) was 24 the day after my relative's birthday and insisted on sharing the celebration. So the cake had 24 as well as the big number on it. They both blew out candles and we sang *happy birthday dear xxx and xxx".

Details vague so as not to be outing.

There are more examples where she behaves this way, but the birthday really did annoy me.

Am I alone in thinking that this is very entitled behaviour.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/02/2026 09:22

Joint birthday meal sounds sensible and nice really. Was the family member particularly upset by it? Why didn’t they say no?

Nevermind17 · 22/02/2026 09:26

How do you know it was the dd who insisted? If I had a big birthday and one of my DCs had a birthday the following day I would absolutely ’share’ the celebration. It would be weird to have everyone there celebrating your birthday and ignoring that it would be DD’s birthday the following day.

DestinedToBeOutlived · 22/02/2026 09:27

If I had a birthday so close to one of my dcs then I would be delighted to do this kind of thing.

Sounds fine to me.

Mulledjuice · 22/02/2026 09:29

Why do you assume this is evidence of entitled behaviour by the 24 year old?

"My relative took a group of us out for meal to celebrate her birthday, and her daughter's is the following day so they both had cake and singing" isn't exactly a stretch

BauhausOfEliott · 22/02/2026 09:31

Sounds like you just really resent your niece to be honest.

category12 · 22/02/2026 09:34

Sounds sensible to do a joint one. I'd have done 2 cakes, but I like cake

Harrietsaunt · 22/02/2026 09:36

I think it’s quite cute…

JacknDiane · 22/02/2026 09:38

You dont like the girl do you

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 09:54

Unless the dd "took over" the actual celebration meal and made it all about her rather than her both of them it sounds like a very sensible and nice way to celebrate both birthdays.

Original poster
donttellthem · 22/02/2026 10:11

Thank you for your comments, it helps to have other perspectives. I'll revisit how I feel about this and how I feel about my niece.

OP posts:
RonnSeall · 22/02/2026 10:26

i think it’s quite normal to celebrate 2 family birthdays at the same time? It certainly is in my family- me, BIL and niece all have a BD within the same week so we have a family dinner with a cake and toast to each of us - can’t understand why anyone would be pissed off with that?

ElevensesKing · 22/02/2026 11:05

In my family there are 4 birthdays in May so we celebrate them all during one meal. It works out cheaper than having 4 separate birthday meals. Nothing controversial about this approach, you just don't like your niece.

Musicaltheatremum · 22/02/2026 11:28

ElevensesKing · 22/02/2026 11:05

In my family there are 4 birthdays in May so we celebrate them all during one meal. It works out cheaper than having 4 separate birthday meals. Nothing controversial about this approach, you just don't like your niece.

We were all July. Used to have one family meal and if it was a big birthday we'd celebrate nearer that one. My mum died so we are now down to 3 birthdays in July but now have 3 in September as son in law and (hopefully) dil are in there too. I think like you it's a lovely family thing.

Silverbirchleaf · 22/02/2026 11:30

Okay to celebrate together, but maybe have a special cake for mum only?

WhatwillitTake · 22/02/2026 11:32

Maybe could have had two cakes? Seems nice to celebrate together apart from that.

FreeRider · 22/02/2026 11:47

My older brother's birthday is one day before my father's, and exactly 2 weeks before mine. If we had a party, it was always to celebrate all 3 together. My brother and I would have our own cake each.

DonnyDozzy · 22/02/2026 11:50

Does the other adult actually care about birthdays? I couldn’t give a stuff and if a 24 year old wanted to nudge in I’d be perfectly happy.

GingerPants · 22/02/2026 11:56

So her own parent? No, I don’t think that’s entitled. In fact I would think it was weird if a birthday meal for extended family didn’t include the two birthdays of a parent and child. So much so that I call ‘reverse’.

BillieWiper · 22/02/2026 12:02

Yeah you just sound like you don't like this young woman. It's perfectly reasonable and nice for a mum and daughter to share a birthday cake and meal if they're bday is close.

I can't imagine the older one was weeping with sadness that it didn't say her age on the cake? Seeing as it was her who organised it probably.

I mean for me if I was making it for two others I'd probs put both ages or neither on the cake but it's not my cake and they were happy.

Owly11 · 22/02/2026 12:24

What is wrong with having a joint birthday celebration and what's it got to do with you anyway? You sound over invested and judgmental.

HappyFace2025 · 22/02/2026 12:37

donttellthem · 22/02/2026 09:20

It was my relative's big birthday recently and she took the extended family out for a meal. Her daughter (an only child) was 24 the day after my relative's birthday and insisted on sharing the celebration. So the cake had 24 as well as the big number on it. They both blew out candles and we sang *happy birthday dear xxx and xxx".

Details vague so as not to be outing.

There are more examples where she behaves this way, but the birthday really did annoy me.

Am I alone in thinking that this is very entitled behaviour.

DD2 and I often celebrate our birthdays together. There's 10 days between them. It makes sense to us. This 24 year old isn't 'entitled' especially as her own birthday was the day after her mother's.

ZenNudist · 22/02/2026 12:39

I'd say this is normal.

sundayvibeswig22 · 22/02/2026 14:52

I’d say this is normal but you obviously don’t like your niece and why does it matter that she’s an only child?

Allmarbleslost · 22/02/2026 15:08

presumably big birthday relative was ok with it or she'd have said no?

HoppityBun · 22/02/2026 15:14

“Entitled” is a word that we’re unfortunately going to be hearing a lot of, unfortunately. It might even oust the perennial favourite, “narcissistic”.

It was a bit selfish.