Father of toddler being difficult

[Pinkelephant2025]

We’ve argued and he’s said to me that ‘if we split then I will leave work and have our child who is 2 full time and that I will see her two times a week, you’ve already had two children previous to our child and raised them so it’s not fair and I want to have her full time’ it really upsets me when he comes out with stuff like that. What do I even say to that?

’ok, we should divorce then, but go 50/50’

"Good luck with that"

It's a way of shutting you up.

He can aim for a 50/50 split but he doesn't get to just decide what's happening with residency himself.

He doesn't get to decide that. Are you married/living together? Is it your home or his or jointly owned? If you split up, you could either come to an agreement between you about childcare arrangements or if you can't agree, you can go to court. He's unlikely to get more than 50/50 though unless he is the main carer for the child. Is he?

@Endofyear we’re not married and not even living together. It’s my home and I am her main carer at the moment he sees her when he stays here on some nights when he comes after work and then he spends his two days off with us that’s why he is reversing it saying if we split he wants her full time and I see her twice a week but I’ve offered him to see her more than two times a week should we split. I told him he doesn’t get to decide that I won’t agree to that and he gets all pissy saying he’s her dad he should be able to have her full time

Wtf does he bring to the table that you are currently providing? Just dump him.

Is he really thick op? Why would he think the parent who she has the least relationship with would get more care? I think where he might have got confused is - it’s isn’t about what he wants, it’s about what’s best for the child. Which would be the current routine. At best he might get 50/50.

Don’t go into all this. Just get on with your lives. This needling and prodding on his part has to stop.

@CarrierbagsAndPJs nothing but stress at the moment

Thats what i thought.

@arethereanyleftatall I don’t know but he seems to think it can be this way because ‘he’s her dad and has that right too’ just don’t get it because I’ve never been spiteful about when he can see her if we’re split and know she needs to have a relationship with her dad. I think he stays with me because he knows he won’t be able to see her as much as he would like. Apparently it’s me that doesn’t keep her best interests in mind but what mother would agree to the father having her full time and I see her only twice a week. It’s just draining knowing we will need court or a mediator if we’re split because we can’t agree. If it would be 50/50 then that would have to be but I don’t agree to him having her full time and it annoys him that I won’t allow that

It sounds so stupid to me but he’s come out with he doesn’t want her watching asmr videos anymore either at all, I said she watches them and enjoys them sometimes but he’s acting like she watches them all day which she doesn’t. I don’t see the issue with the harmless asmr playdoh and slime videos but he claims that if she carries on watching them she ‘won’t grow up to be clever’ is this over the top and ridiculous?

Stop him coming round to your house. He can take her to his to look after her.