DB girlfriend has autism, adhd, ocd and rejection sensitivity. They’ve been together 4 years and have a dd. Any family get together they tend to avoid. If they do come it’s very difficult and they frequently leave early as she gets upset or overwhelmed.
it’s clear she feels threatened (from what I’ve read this is the rejection sensitive problem?) she seems triggered if DB talks to us or if she offers him something or suggests something and he declines she takes it personally. We are keen to help her feel more relaxed as things do seem worse than previously. It’s obvious she struggles being out or with a lot of people we were wondering about trying to pop round to them more individually so she’s not stressed out. DB said it’s a good idea but had to run through the rules (shoes off house, wash hands on arrival don’t wear outside coat if sitting on the sofa etc which is fine) I asked him is there anything else we can help with he said he will think and let me know.
Things do seem worse since their dd was born (maybe pnd?) I don’t want to overstep or make things worse but want to help the situation get better and not that they drift away from the family. Keen to also support DB as I imagine it can be hard at times.
Is there anything else I should / shouldn’t do? Or to be aware of ? I don’t want to push socialising onto her if she hates it but want to make the effort to ensure they are included and feel part of the family.