Women’s refuge and my belongings

[MamaTo3under4]

Hi everyone, not sure if anyone knows the answer to my question but I’m just wondering if I was to go to a women’s refuge to escape dv, what would happen to all of my belongings like big stuff that I can’t pack in a bag and bring with me?
I have a council house that is solely in my name, would the council just throw it all I wonder? Sounds abit shallow but I just have an emotional connection to things that I own iv always been that way since a small child I hate losing my things.

I have no idea how these things work, but just wanted to ask why you need to leave the house? Can the police not help you keep your abuser away from you?
I am so sorry if these sound like stupid questions, I have no idea how women in your situation cope, it must be terrifying for you.

Sorry you’re in this situation.

As the house is in your name, why isn’t the solution to keep him out of it? Rather than leave the house and go to a refuge?

Have you looked at ways to do this - injunctions like non-molestation orders etc?

I don't have a clue, but just wanted to say I don't think that's a bit shallow. I think it's a very sensible and pragmatic question.

Have you a social worker? I know a woman who's stuff was packed away into storage when she fled... Maybe enquire at the local council? If you have dpets some charities offer foster places until you can have them back. And for anyone to know Travelodge allow dogs if you need to take one with you in an emergency..

Have you spoken to a housing officer at the council and explained the situation? It's in your name so please don't rush to leave without reporting this and getting rid of him. If a burglar broke in you might leave for a day but you wouldn't allow him to take up residence. Would you?

You could rent a storage unit and move your things to the unit. The council won’t do that for you.

but keeping the house and getting an order to ban your abuser is a much better option. If the house is in your sole name, you can change the locks and not let him in.

do call women’s aid and ask what your options are.

If the house is in your name and the person who is abusing you has no claim on the property can you call the police to remove them.

Just to echo what PPs have said: my first thought was that it's your abuser who must be removed, not you!

If the house is in your name you can call police to get him removed and get a non mol order against him forbidding him to come near you
Might be worth ringing women's aid to ask advice and they will give you accurate info eg I know some women go into short term refuge.
With a council house you even have the option of trying a home swap for a fresh new area and new start if there's any good ones on the groups x

@Hadalifeonce@SoScarletItWas@Livelaughlurgy@Pancakesbythedozen@Bonkers1966@parietal@Bananalanacake@ParmaVioletTeahello all thanks for all the messages, it’s quite a long story but my partner is very very controlling and quite evil he’s such a dangerous man he’s threatened to kill me so many times and he has previous gun charges and is just such a horrible person that I feel like I have to flee to a refuge nothing would stop him coming back even calling the police and getting some kind of order against him I’m just to scared I wouldn’t sleep at night, so if I was to flee to a refuge at least then they could help me find a home somewhere else and he wouldn’t be able to find me x

He would probably wait outside for me to leave and try and take my kids or smash the windows I really don’t know what he’s capable of I’m angry that I have to leave MY HOME it makes me feel sick but I feel that it’s the only way

Have you spoken to Women's Aid OP? They can help you make a plan to leave safely. Once you're out, you can speak to the council about housing and moving your belongings to a new place. For now, your safety is paramount.

Can you not do a house swap?

Speak to your local social work team. They are very experienced in helping women flee domestic abuse with kids. They should help you find a new place to live and can help with moving etc. Given the high level of risk to you and your kids they should be prepared to step in and help. I’ve moved many women in your situation.

You will need to arrange to get your things if you decide to move out permanently. I don’t know how that would work with getting a new council property if your old one is no longer safe. I do know sometimes the police will install panic alarms if needed. I cannot imagine the council moves quickly if you have to go in a refuge. But if you need to move permanently, you would need to move your things out, same as you would every other time you’ve moved out. They may be able to put you in touch with some support to do that, or you may simply need a man with a van. To move into storage or a family member’s or somewhere until you are more settled.

Could you rent a storage unit for anything too big to take to the refuge? And for keeping keepsajes and important documents etc...

I would flee to the refugee then report everything to the police along with evidence. Start a procedure with the council to swap to another council house in another town (not sure the logistics but speak with them and citizens advice). If they jail him pending trial you can go back whilst waiting. Don't just give up the property.

he’s such a dangerous man he’s threatened to kill me so many times and he has previous gun charges

You need to get to a police station now. Preferably with some documentation of this level of abuse - texts? notes etc?

Keep notes from now on of every threat he makes: words, date, time.

Get a burner phone PAYG

Talk to Women's Aid.

Op explain all this to your housing officer they will relocate you, with out him knowing this,
Never give up your tenancy op, housing officer will help they have policies on DV ,

Police need to put a restraining order on him, they will give you a panic alarm so Police will know your in danger and attend the property,

Get locks changed via housing, and you need some security out side front and back,

Please speak the housing officer and police ASAP,

If you end up in a a womans refugees your children will not ve allowed to continue in the school as he could find you that way,

Keep your home and make it safe op,

You need to be careful as you already have a council property, they will be very reluctant to give you another, even in a different area. If the council deems you ineligible for a tenancy then you won't get the correct funding for staying in a refuge, although I have seen WA help women in your position secure a private let.

You should initially speak to WA and see if they can support you in asking the council for a swap elsewhere. Collect all the evidence you can, messages, emails, ring camera footage, any evidence of his crimes like newspaper reports etc.

I certainly know in my area WA have access to volunteers with vans who are amazing at helping out, and there is some storage at our refuge, although definitely not enough for a house full.

Each area is different, has different funding, amd different rules, so all you can really do is contact them and discuss with someone there who will be best able to advise you.

Good luck op 💐

You have a home.

You can apply to the council to move and you can reference domestic abuse.

You need to apply for an occupation order and a restraining order. You need to file charges with the police.

If you leave this violent man in your home he will destroy your things.

The council have a duty to you as their tenant. They may be able to move you. Get their help as well.

You would be better arranging an exchange - move to another council house. The council may help you or you can often do this privately. Don’t give up your council tenancy. If he is living with you, you might have to set this up behind the scenes and get assistance on the day of the exchange.

@MamaTo3under4 , do you have family or friends who can arrange for your belongings to go to storage after you've fled? If yes, this may buy you some time.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/benefits/housing_benefit_in_refuges_hostels

can you ask your HA for a management transfer to a different property on the grounds of fleeing DV?