Doubts early on, is this normal?

[Thenamestheyareachanginnn]

Name change for this because I’m being quite venerable.

I want to start by saying I don’t feel this way now and haven’t for years, but it’s something I’ve been reflecting on recently and I want to see if anyone else had a similar experience.

When me and my DH first got together (about 7 years ago) I was intensely paranoid he was hiding some kind of weird sexual proclivities from me. Probably for the first year or so. I had no reason to believe this based of his behaviour or anything, we met working in a pub and I knew other girls there who had been out with and they all had nothing but good things to say (rare for our pub, there was always insane drama). As times gone on I am very confident I know him. He doesn’t have any “weird” kinks or anything too out of the ordinary, we all have our sex quirks but absolutely no complaints from me.

I really don’t know why my mind went to weird dark places though. I was never sexually abused as a child or exposed to anything horrific (once saw a nuts mag in my mates brothers room at about 8 but it was more funny than anything). My first boyfriend liked feet but I don’t think that’s weird or anything, he had a sense of humor about it and wasn’t pushy, we had a good relationship all in all and I now know by foot fetish standards I have sexy feet. I am not a particularly anxious person either, which is why I think it’s so weird. I’ve never really been one to catastrophise (I don’t know if that’s a word, if it is that’s not how you spell it but I think you get my jist).

We are now happily married with three children, so I don’t feel like this anymore, but I just wondered if anyone else has ever felt like this?

I often wonder if mn has made me feel so paranoid about various things. Reading all the horror stories on here.
i had the same worry about my most recent ex but then I found a few things that made my paranoia a reality . So maybe it was intuition

Honestly at the time I wasn’t on MN but I definitely saw a lot of really bad behaviour from men at the pub. Trying to take home paralytic girls half their age, old men making lewd comments and being grabby and the like.

I have never found anything that’s made me doubt my husband and when I’ve discussed this with him (I was pretty open about it) he wasn’t defensive or hostile.

I never worried about that no, and I do think it's strange that you did, given he gave you no obvious signs to worry about! Have you had the same worries at the beginning of other relationships or just with him?

He is my second serious relationship (serious I would define as over 6 months exclusive). With the first one a bit but he did hide the feet thing from me. I understand why though because we were at college and he wanted to probably trust me a bit first because if I’d told everyone he absolutely would have been ripped to shreds.

I definitely think it’s a weird feeling to have and I do want to state (probably should have said in OP) I didn’t think it was anything illegal - I’d have left if I even had a slight incling. I can’t even tell you exactly what it was I was worried about if I’m honest.

I think now we see so much on TV and online, such as channel 5 documentaries about men with such weird sexual kinks and lets face its its always men! that have these kinks and fetishes such as Rubber, dressing as a baby, s&m, foot fetish, being urinated on etc, the strangeness just goes on and its hard for us who are just into vanilla sex to get our head around. I think if im honest its made me wonder if men ive been in relationships with are turned on by these things. luckily none have been (that i know of anyway!)
Because its always men that have these weird fetishes i think it does make us wonder if they're all a bit weird.