Infuriating 'trying to help'

[Mattjack2]

New washing machine arriving today so I paid for removal of old one. Just needs disconnecting. Nope. Partner has disconnected, put it onto a cart (much swearing) and taken it down three steps outside. Doesn't understand why I booked a removal as he, at 58 would have been able to lift it into the car and take it to the tip. Im not sure if its because I arranged something independently or if its because he wants to prove a point. His rationale was to try and 'help the delivery men'. On the flipside we have painted the kitchen which I will now have to remove all the splattered paint off the work surfaces and cooker because he didnt put covers down as I suggested. Initially he wasn't even going to move all the kitchen stuff. Yet he wants to do things 'properly'! Where is he helping me here?! And yes I am getting my ducks in a row to remove myself but a rant helps!

Unfortunately this is what it is like living with another adult! They have different priorities, different ways of doing things, different ideas of what dents their ego!

The washing machine thing I would be able to let go - he has put himself out for nothing, since you’ve paid for the removal service. If he is fishing for thanks or moaning he’s hurt his back, I’d have so sympathy and would just circle back to “you shouldn’t have done it as there was no need”.

The paint would drive me mad. You asked him to use drop cloths and he didn’t and now it is somehow your job to clear up?! No chance. But the you have to live with the splatters or the crap clear up job. There’s no easy way out here, and I unfortunately agree that if you can’t get over these types of things then it’s best not to live together!

Thaks! Good point re the washing machine. I think its just an accumulation of little things these days.

In lreland they take the old washing machine when delivering the new one.
He sounds annoying . We moved house lately and my dh is older than yours. He insisted on lifting all furniture even upstairs. Our grown kids said they would come at the weekend and lift everything. But he did it himself midweek! I think he just can't accept his age so l say let him on. I didn't lift a thing as l am not injuring my back. And l did draw the line at painting..no way!