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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I in the wrong here ?

8 replies

inkyspells · 20/02/2026 08:21

My partner seems to tell me off for everything lately but here goes.
We were sorting the spare room out and there was 1 bin bag full of rubbish (just things that could go in recycling) our bin at this point was full so he said he would take it to work with him.
So I left at in the corner upstairs out of the way for him.
He said he didn’t want to carry it downstairs yesterday morning as he left so would I take it downstairs last night and he would take it today (he walked past it to leave yesterday)
Anyway I was thinking at the bottom of the stairs is literally a square ..no room to move.
If I had moved the bag there we wouldn’t be able to open the door or get up or down the stairs.
This morning I said “babe can you take it to work please “
He said “no you haven’t moved it downstairs like I told you “ ..I explained why
Then he said “why didn’t you empty the kitchen bins?” I forgot the bin bags yesterday but they were on my shopping list.
So I explained and he said “I’m not touching them ,so if you don’t they will grow maggots”

it really annoyed me
i was always emptying them ,I literally just forgot the bin bags plus they were still only 3/4 full anyway.
Was I in the wrong here ?
I

OP posts:
TheCriticalThinker · 20/02/2026 08:23

Unless there's a drip feed to come, this sounds like a normal domestic issue

Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 08:25

What now. Why have you to take it downstairs and empty the bins, why won’t he do it?

ProseccoPie · 20/02/2026 08:26

My partner would just do it without criticism or moaning if I forgot.
He doesn’t sound like he’s lovely to you

MoiraPlunkett · 20/02/2026 08:27

He said he didn’t want to carry it downstairs yesterday morning as he left so would I take it downstairs last night and he would take it today (he walked past it to leave yesterday) Anyway I was thinking at the bottom of the stairs is literally a square ..no room to move

Why didn't you tell him that straight away?

It all seems a lot of fuss over bin bags.

Olderandwiserpossibly · 20/02/2026 08:32

I'm failing to think of a valid reason for him not carrying the bag downstairs himself.

It comes over as though he thinks you have the status of menial servant whilst he is too important to fo tasks like that.

He is acting like lord and master.
Is this the dynamics of your relationship generally?

Endofyear · 20/02/2026 08:59

Why couldn't he just take it downstairs himself? Why did he tell you to do it? And why can't he empty the kitchen bins himself?

Seaoftroubles · 20/02/2026 09:12

He sees you as a housemaid l'm afraid. Is he always so overbearing and difficult or was this a one off?

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 20/02/2026 09:17

What a knob!

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