Please some advice

[Irishlady90]

I've meet this wonderful man he treats me so good , I love being with him but unfortunately he lives 50 miles away he says distance isn't a problem, but to be honest I'm worried about the future we both have said that we see this as a long term relationship,were both in our 40s, but his job is 50 miles away he says he loves his job so how can we live together in the future I can't ask him to leave his job, am I just worried about nothing or have I got a valid point as id like us to be living together in the future, i would appreciate any advice

50 miles is nothing. 90 mins in a car. Stop worrying

I used to commute 50 miles every day for work. It wasn't ideal but I was used to it.

Isn't there some room to consider eventually both moving to somewhere in between? Or him working away in the week? There's lots of options.

Surely neither of your situations are so fixed you couldn't work something out together? 50 miles isn't particularly far

Why is tour first instinct to ask him to leave his job instead of thinking about you making changes? You are the one who is worried so the onus is on you to make changes.
I previously moved 90 miles into a new city for a bloke. While the relationship ultimately didn't work out, I absolutely don't regret my decision. I found a perfect job, a perfect house and live in an area with a much better quality of life.

Unfortunately neither of us drive , where I live is rural and we have to get two buses which takes 2 hours to see each other

They it’s about time one of you learnt isn’t it! What will happen if you get older? Driving is freedom - why don’t you both learn and then he can drive from yours to work!

I was clear when I got together with DH that I wasn’t moving. I loved my area 20 miles but about a 45 minute drive - we had a brief conversation but he was happy to drive and that was that. Moved house to a joint house and job done.

Learn to drive

I genuinely dont see the problem as thats about how long it takes me to get to work every day. Maybe you could both learn to drive or you could eventually move to where he is OR just appreciate that you have a lovely partner not under your feet the entire time!

Seems like you'll both have to change some things about your situations if you want to make it work.

What are you expecting from dating - to meet the perfect guy within walking distance?

It is all about the pros and cons. What you are willing to/happy with altering in your lives for a chance for this relationship. Take the long commute and accept that it is how long it takes / Learn how to drive - both/either of you / Maybe you moving closer / him changing jobs that he loves - and the list goes on. The choice is simple - either accept the circumstances, or see if any alteration in your current settings is worth this relationship.

People saying learn to drive like it’s that simple are missing the point. Some areas don’t offer hourly lessons, it’s 2 hour minimum which is £85 a time. Someone on a low wage and who is a single parent simply can’t manage that - I’m not saying OP is in this situation, but nobody faced barriers re driving everyone would be doing it.

I couldn't afford to drive and I recently just bought a house last year but I'm sure we will work things out as we really like each other and want a future together

How long have you been seeing him? If it’s going g well don’t ruin a good thing by overthinking what happened in 2/5/10 years time

Personally yes, it is too far. When I date it's normally within 20 miles. I want to see the other person regularly and not be huge burden (or cost). I am settled here with friends, kids, school etc... and the other person probably is too, so having to relocate if it goes well is a big ask.

Please learn to drive. It is the 21st century. Over