My wife and I have been together 25 years. We have two adult children. Our relationship is solid, no separations, cheating etc. over the years. We get on well with the occasional little niggles. We both work part-time, although I earn more. Our accounts are all shared- one big pot. I think I do my fair share of chores, although less washing, but more mowing etc. biased. On the whole everything’s good. I love my wife, and find her attractive. Sex is fine. We are fairly fit and in good shape for our age.
The issue I have is that I wish she was more touchy/feely. I’m not sure how to explain, but for example most nights when we go to bed I move over for a hug and she nearly always pushes me away. It’s like “get off me!” It’s fine if we are going to have sex, it’s loving and intimate, but as soon as that is over, she pushes me away again. But I’m left craving a bit more “intimacy ” I suppose is the word I’m looking for. I would love to go to sleep wrapped around each other, and I get that’s simply not her thing, but I don’t think I’m unreasonable in seeking a bit more of a cuddle before going to sleep. It’s not every single time, but probably 95% of the time. It makes me feel rejected. If I bring it up she gets really hurt and takes it personally, and sees it as an attack, and cries as she feels I’m saying she’s not loving enough. It’s pretty much been like this for 20 years, but we did share a single bed for quite some time in the early years lol.
I just wondered if I should just accept that’s how she is and it will never change, or has anyone experienced anything similar? Apart from this, which seems a trivial issue, everything else is fine. Should I just shut up and get over it, or can I talk to her about it in a different way, just a mild compromise would ok for me.