Living with partner options - please help

[InOut2023]

Morning mumsnetters,

Background: My partner and I have been together for two years. We each have a house on a mortgage, but we find ourselves living in her two bed house, with two small dogs. This is due to her work being 35mins away, mine 25 mins, hers always staying the same but mine likely to change in jan 2028, with future uk location unknown.

We have recently been looking at buying a house together, same distance or closer to her work, but this has stopped because we can’t find an “ideal” (3-bed semi detached, with a decent size garden) - nobody seems to be selling, probably because of how expensive it all is!!

Our overall goal is to be mortgage free by 50, her retire at 55, me at 60.

Our options are:

1. sell both houses, buy one house up to 300k, leaving us with a 120k ish mortgage (both 39).

2. keep both houses, rent mine out (85k mortgage) and live in hers together (135k mortgage), officially and renovate the house (2-bed, terraced and small garden) and own both by 50.

What option do you think would be best? If option 2, what would be the fairest way for us to do it financially, future proofing mostly for her in the unexpected event we were to split up. Or is there a 3rd option we haven’t even considered?

Thank you lovely people!

Do you have any plans to marry?

Are you planning on getting married
any kids

I think each of you holding on to assets is important especially if you both want to retire relatively early

Kids - if we did it would be adoption / foster, but most likely no.

Marry - unsure, just not really ever been a big thing to either of us, but most likely will.

You should both keep your assets. So option two.
The question then becomes how to split your rent to protect you both. Which is tricky.
Logically, she should pay her full mortgage and you should pay your full mortgage. That way there is no dispute if you split up.
Daily running costs split proportionally according to your incomes. So her would be the salary and yours would be the salary + rent on your house.

In that case I think option 2, keep both your assets. I know it's a pretty morbid thought but you see so many people on here (mostly women) who are left in such vulnerable states when things don't work out. Protection for you both is important. Is do option 2. Do you have a preference or are you swaying to any options OP?

I agree and have always said it’s important we pay our own mortgages, so as to protect ourselves. I think first port of call is to review finances and make sure bills are proportionate.