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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I too sensitive

10 replies

49andabit · 18/02/2026 17:29

Very long story short been seeing a man 10 years was in a two year relationship with him but stayed friends sometimes Fwb.

we went on holidays etc but he’s very stuck in his ways if we had a slight disagreement he would shut down.

i had a horrible life event late last year and he seemed concerned suggesting places to go so i didn’t stay in. He spat on the floor on a night out and i said it was disgusting! He then avoided me and barely spoke to me for 3 months.

We met up in January again and been out for a couple of drinks (platonic) and a meal on two or three occasions and it was ok.

Ffw to weekend just gone we went for a meal and he was horrified the pub still had balloons up for Valentine’s Day and couldn’t move it from our table fast enough. I felt a bit on edge then and we had a couple of cross words via text when we got home (separately) he apologised and that was that or so I thought.

on Monday he text to say he didn’t want to go on holiday as we had discussed the Friday before and we should end our friendship as he knows I like him and he wants to find someone to date and get into a relationship with.

im really fed up with the on off so called friendship and have struggled immensely historically with depression and don’t want this to set me back.

i can already feel myself overthinking and a bit anxious I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sick of being a back up plan when he is not feeling down I think there’s an underlying depression there but he won’t admit it. He’s basically said I’m holding him back from meeting someone he likes but he initiated the drinks etc.

when we broke up 4 y ago he said he never loved me which I always knew deep down and I never felt good enough.

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 18/02/2026 17:34

Well he’s a dick and isn’t contributing anything positive to your life by the sound of it OP, I’d get rid tbh and find some better people to spend your time with!

TheThingOnTheIce · 18/02/2026 17:35

I’m gonna be blunt so I apologise
fuck him!
fuck him right off
block him
find new friends / relationships
what an arsehole

Tigercrane · 18/02/2026 17:38

What a horrible person.
Perhaps he stopped you from finding someone, not the other way around.
You are good enough, block him do not look back.Don't let him come back again, please you are worth more than that.

Lennonjingles · 18/02/2026 17:40

I am sorry, but I honestly think you are better off without him, he seems to have his own problems he needs to be dealing with.

49andabit · 18/02/2026 17:41

Thank you for your replies it’s actually made me tear up 🥺.

i fought so so hard with my metal health a couple of years ago i went to therapy and had a psychiatrist etc and have been in a good place, so much so I was weaning off meds with my gp now i feel I need to stay on them to get through this.

i know im not perfect, far from it but feel like shit all over again that I’m treading on eggshells.

maybe he’s right, I’ve always like him and he never liked me romantically and it would hurt so much if he met someone else yet I don’t know why I even care but I do.

OP posts:
TheThingOnTheIce · 18/02/2026 17:48

Don’t waste another second on him op

ChristmasFluff · 18/02/2026 18:06

You aren't sensitive enough! I'm so 'sensitive' I'd have never spoken to him again after he spat on the floor - vile, disrespectful, sub-animal behaviour. Which sums up him and the rest of his behaviour too.

Catza · 19/02/2026 09:03

I have never once in my life felt confused or anxious around my friends. Clue - he is not your friend. You don't see him as such. You see him as a potential romantic partner, god knows why. So take his leave as a blessing, block and delete his number.

Pancakesbythedozen · 19/02/2026 09:05

Why didn't you block him after the initial twat behaviour?

exhaustDAD · 19/02/2026 09:19

Hello @49andabit - The fact that you maintained such a long-standing relationship with this gut is a sign that you are not sensitive enough. Sounds like an immature "boy" rather than a man. Not great for you, not your friend, and if he left, keep him that way - away from you. You don't need someone like that in your life, surely.

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