Very long story short been seeing a man 10 years was in a two year relationship with him but stayed friends sometimes Fwb.
we went on holidays etc but he’s very stuck in his ways if we had a slight disagreement he would shut down.
i had a horrible life event late last year and he seemed concerned suggesting places to go so i didn’t stay in. He spat on the floor on a night out and i said it was disgusting! He then avoided me and barely spoke to me for 3 months.
We met up in January again and been out for a couple of drinks (platonic) and a meal on two or three occasions and it was ok.
Ffw to weekend just gone we went for a meal and he was horrified the pub still had balloons up for Valentine’s Day and couldn’t move it from our table fast enough. I felt a bit on edge then and we had a couple of cross words via text when we got home (separately) he apologised and that was that or so I thought.
on Monday he text to say he didn’t want to go on holiday as we had discussed the Friday before and we should end our friendship as he knows I like him and he wants to find someone to date and get into a relationship with.
im really fed up with the on off so called friendship and have struggled immensely historically with depression and don’t want this to set me back.
i can already feel myself overthinking and a bit anxious I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sick of being a back up plan when he is not feeling down I think there’s an underlying depression there but he won’t admit it. He’s basically said I’m holding him back from meeting someone he likes but he initiated the drinks etc.
when we broke up 4 y ago he said he never loved me which I always knew deep down and I never felt good enough.