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Original poster

Is this age gap too much?

31 replies

GoldenAmz · 18/02/2026 16:59

I’m not asking re. the number of years between us specifically, but more so the actual ages if that makes sense. I know many age gap relationships are successful.

I am 48f and he’s 34m. I have no kids, he has one.

He’s mature, good job, keeps himself fit etc. Ticks many boxes.

Has anyone been in a relationship where there was similar ages? Or known someone who has.

I don’t know if I’m overthinking things (probably!), but views are welcome.

OP posts:
OneShyQuail · 19/02/2026 09:23

GoldenAmz · 18/02/2026 20:51

That sounds lovely! Do you mind me asking what decade you are in? x

Show quote history

Of course not
Im 41 hes 27

OneShyQuail · 19/02/2026 09:25

PinotPony · 18/02/2026 21:38

I’m 51, DP is 33. 18 year gap. Been together 6 years. We don’t live together and never intend to.

I agree with PP about having the big conversations early on. We talked about whether he wanted children - he doesn’t. How his mum felt - she likes me and thinks he’s batting! Agreed that he is a friend to my sons (20 and 16) but has no parenting role. Agreed that our finances are separate, and that he is under no pressure to “keep up” with my higher earnings - I have expensive meals with my girlfriends and lovely pub lunches with him. We split the costs of our holidays and I pay for the expensive excursions. We joke about how he’ll push me around in my wheelchair in 30 years time, if he’s not ditched me for a younger model or been run over by a bus by then.

Life is short and there’s no guarantees about the future. If you find someone who makes you happy now, you should grab that love with both hands. ❤️

Omg yes the mum thing! I was terrified his mum would hate me, she was just so happy to see him happy, always thought hed end up with an older woman and she dotes on my girls as if they were her biological grandchildren

ViciousCurrentBun · 19/02/2026 09:33

I have three friends who all have age gap relationships between them where the woman is older. My DH is only 2 years younger so I don’t really feel it’s of note. Except I could retire ahead of him.

10 years, never managed to have children and neither had children before seem happy. Now 51/61

12 years, they were happy but she died aged 54 and he was left a widower with a 10 and 12 year old

14 years, an absolute car crash in slow motion, he just used my lovely friend. She has a history of very bad relationships though so maybe more just a bad picker than the age gap.

Ophir · 19/02/2026 09:39

My current DP is only six years younger than me but I’m looking towards retirement and travelling soon (late fifties) and he’s a single parent to a teenage daughter. Been there done that, so would never live together, and the age gap, or maybe life stage gap, is becoming more and more apparent

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 19/02/2026 09:44

There are 7 years between me and dh (hes older though) and we work well together but got together young (late teens/early 20s). I think with him having such a young child and you not wanting children this isn’t going to work.

BudgetBuster · 19/02/2026 11:35

I don't see any issue with age gap relationships if the lifestyles match up.

You dont want kids... he has a 3yr old. There's no escaping a 3yr old. Yes, the kid isn't yours but he/she will be a huge part of his life for the foreseeable. If the kids involved were teens/ young adults I think it'd be different but a toddler is alot of work. A huge lifestyle shift.

Not sure how long you are together now, or if you've ever met the child etc but I think 2 huge questions that need to be thought of upfront are: 1) Does he want more kids? Or has he even thought about the possibility? 2) What is your role? Will ye never live together if you don't want kids? Are you happy to see him less if he has his child and you aren't 100% involved? How do holidays and trips look... you'll have more disposable income than him as he has a child to support.

Then there is just the general lifestyle without a kid. Are your salaries somewhat matched? You'll probably want to stop working much sooner than him, how does that look, are you happy to have a solo retirement for the first good few years? Do you have wishes to travel alot or do things that he won't be able to do (because he'll be working or trying to put his kid through college etc).

It can obviously work, but you both need to be eyes wide open going in.

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