there's this guy I 24 (F) know, let's call him C 24(M). I've known him since 2018, college friends. back then I had the most massive crush on him. like I literally could not look him in the eye. if he talked to me my heart would just race, it was embarrassing. and he was always SO nonchalant about everything — like he'd sometimes say stuff like "everyone's going on a date, we should go on a date, I'll be your bf" but so casually that I never knew if he was flirting or just being him. turns out he's just like that with everyone. asked out other girls the same way. so idk, maybe it meant nothing.
anyway we're not close close. like once a year, meet for drinks type friends.
a couple years after college we ran into each other at a group thing. I had a bf by then. I said I was sleepy and he offered his shoulder and I just... slept on it. he asked about my bf, said something like "man all the lawyers get the girls" (genuinely cannot tell if I imagined this), and also told me "you gave me such a nice hug the last time we met, it felt so good." I wrote it off as him just being friendly idk.
okay fast forward to like 10 days ago. C came over to drink with my bf and our mutual friend. the evening was mostly fine but my bf said a few things that didn't land great — called me his "bitch" (affectionate but still), told my friends he thought it would just be him and me that night (added it wasn't a bad surprise but still said it), and told our mutual friend he'd put on weight (as a compliment apparently??). my bf can be like this sometimes. a bit, short tempered, immature, occasionally says stuff that makes me want to disappear. but I love him and he has a good heart and we genuinely we have such a good time together so.
after my bf left C was like "did he actually want us here, hope we weren't intruding." I brushed it off.
then YESTERDAY the three( me, C and another friend)of us met for drinks again. C goes "I have tea about you." and proceeds to tell me he doesn't like my bf. found his energy off putting. then our mutual friend left and it was just C and me and this is where it got so weird.
he just started asking me things. like so many things.
do you love him for real? is this serious or just convenient? how does someone like you, a nerdy girl who's into [this band we're both obsessed with], end up with someone like him, it just doesn't match. do you want to marry him? do you even want to be a mom? He ended the conversation by saying I could do so much better.
like??? where is this coming from???
he also brought up the moment my bf interrupted me mid conversation that night and answered on my behalf and C was like why would he do that, I wanted to hear YOU talk, I've known you since 2018. said he wanted to turn to my bf and say "I've known her longer than you."
he did give my bf some credit, said he seems to have a good heart, doesn't shirk responsibility, clearly cares about me. but then also said "I just feel like you could do so much better." and then walked it back with "but maybe you know him better, he'll probably grow up in a few years."
and THEN. I overshared at some point and told him about an abortion and was like omg why am I telling you this, and he said "no. look into my eyes and tell me anything."
so what is this. is this a concerned friend?? is something else happening?? I genuinely cannot tell with him, he's always been so hard to read.
for the record I don't think I have feelings for him anymore. I'm just really curious what's actually going on with him and I can't stop dissecting this conversation.
someone help.
old crush who I see once a year had a super loaded, intimate conversation with me, questioned my whole relationship, told me I could do better. My question is why would he interrogate me for over an hour? Why would he do this?
I see that my bf can be a bit rude, and can be a bit of a "man" but is it so severe that people think I should end the relationship?? I'm asking because a previous male friend of mine had a similar reaction to my bf. What is going on?