What is “the script”?

[tuesdaytuesday31]

What do people mean when they refer to “the script”?

Someone I know is devastated because her husband has left her. She has very little idea of where he’s staying (just the area) and says he’s just sorting his head out and needs some space after a difficult time. She doesn’t seem to think another woman is involved but another friend said “it’s all part of the script!”

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5169069-the-script-what-would-you-add?page=1

Like this?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/2608705-what-is-the-script-that-gets-referred-to-on-here

https://www.chumplady.com/do-cheaters-all-work-from-the-same-script/ - this has some interesting thoughts about how "the Script" is in fact a manifestation of anytime an entitled person (the cheater) is trying to justify why the thing that they want (to cheat) is in fact, right and proper.

I’d agree with your friend. Certainly sounds like an affair, I think you may need to steal yourself as she’s likely to find out more and that discovery will be traumatic for her.

Men very rarely leave to be on their own. Cherchez la femme.

There’s a book, but it’s used as shorthand for a series of things men often say when they leave. Women who are sure he isn’t cheating find after a while that all the things he has said are just like all the things all the other men said. And it eventually turns out they were cheating.

When we all kept our private lives under wraps, the similarities weren’t noticed. Now people talk about it more and share on fora like this, it painfully obvious that there’s a predictable script that men seem to follow.

www.amazon.co.uk/SCRIPT-Absolutely-Predictable-Things-Cheat/dp/1401308422

I’m inclined to agree but I haven’t said that to her, she’s upset enough. I’d definitely be going all Sherlock Holmes and trying to find out where he is though.

I don’t know how helpful it is to introduce the concept of him cheating whilst she’s still processing him leaving. I’d just support her through the stages of grief as she comes to terms with it. He probably is, she probably doesn’t expect him to be, especially if he’s ’finding himself’, ‘focussing on his mental health’ and other depressingly predictable phrases men use to cover up cheating.
I was completely sure my ex wouldn’t cheat for the first year. Then not so sure, and it wasn’t until quite a few months after I left him for checking out completely and treating me badly that my friend told me he was already seeing one of the other school mums. There will have been crossover and it explained his behaviour.
If I’d have found out at the time of the split it would have been much more traumatic, but a few months on I was able to see him for who he is and it didn’t bother me as much. She’s now got to deal with his toddler tantrums and ghosting and I’m well out of it.
I hope she can come to terms with this and see she’s better off without him.