Split from husband

[birchtree23]

Recently split from husband as I was so unhappy. Told him he had to change his ways but he told me to like it or lump it so here I am with our daughter and feeling sorry for myself today. Please tell me it’s gets better. Still in the marital home and he has moved out. Hoping to find somewhere to move soon.

Hi, so sorry you are going through this. Ive recently left my partner of 14 years, ive just moved out of the marital home with my daughter. Its been a horrendous few weeks and so unsettling for my daughter, its heartbreaking. Not sure if i can give any advice as im struggling with everything at the moment. My ex would stay up drinking every friday and saturday, which put huge strain on our relationship. Similar to your husband, it was like it or lump it. I can only send you a big hug currently as im not in any position to offer advice, sorry. I realise they cannot take any accountability and even begin to understand the effects their behaviour has on us and the family ever. X

What were the problems you were having with him?

Lack of motivation, never got up in the mornings, always sleeping. I basically ran about like a blue arsed fly. He worked away a lot so thought when he came home it was his time to not do a lot so I had enough. Drinking every evening. The list could go on. Hope your ok pickle pink. I’m just sad that it ended this way. I just cracked.

I can entirely understand why you reached breaking point. For me, it definitely got better. Not least because I realised that being in a shitty relationship with someone with a drink problem was way more lonely than being on my own with my DCs. It took time to get there and it wasn't always easy, but not everything in life that is worth doing is necessarily the easy choice. You can do this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get through.

I'm still picking up the pieces op, it's better even though it's been so hard and I'm so devastated even after a good few months. Sending 💐 from what I've read of others further down the line it does turn a corner in the end, my DC are certainly better although they ask questions every now and again x

Hi birchtree, how are you today? How are things?

Hi @birchtree23 . So sorry you are going through this, but I am here to tell you - and a lot will support me saying this - that it WILL get better. You will be a lot happier, the thing that gave you frustration, sadness and unhappiness is changing. As it's the end of a relationship, yes, it hurts and it's distressing, but it is normal.. As you are not made out of stone. There is no point talking about fixing problems, and how, because you communicated unhappiness and a longing for a change, and instead of healthy communication, and maybe even meeting you half-way, he said a clear 'no'. He told you it is either this - that makes you unhappy, or no relationship. I think when it comes to ultimatums, the latter is always the right choice. It is sad that this is what he chose, but please, try to find solace that you shouldn't be with someone who you matter so little to. Right now, focus on finding a new normal, routine, and focus on yourself and your daughter. It WILL get better, easier..and more importantly - happier.

Hey ladies. Yes I’m much better the past few days. Thank you for your support and hope you’re all doing ok as well. Just glad to know that things will get easier x

Thats good to hear, glad your feeling more positive. Did you find somewhere to move to?

No I’m on the council house list and looking for private rents also but not much in the area. Fingers crossed 🤞