My friend's marriage has come to an end as her husband said he doesn't feel connected to her anymore. Friend is now incredibly depressed, won't get out of bed and go to work today (even though new job she only started a week ago). She has moved out of the house. She is hugely angry at her husband and sending messages to all and sundry about how he is controlling.
The trouble is, my friend cheated on her husbandast year. He suspected and she gaslit him and denied it. But she told me that she loved her affair partner but that he wouldn't leave his wife(!) but if he would have then she would have left her husband. Well, husband never found out about the affair but obviously suspected and it has changed how he feels about her and he has decided to call it quits.
Friend is in regular contact with this other man, who has apparently left his wife now after all (but friend and him "aren't together" 🤔) and she says she loves him in many ways. However, she seems completely unable to see that her current depressive state is caused largely by her own doing, she is trying to paint her husband into a coercive monster (he could be, but I doubt it and her examples of him controlling her are quite ambitious e.g. asking her what time she'll be home from work) and she just will not accept that her affair had anything to do with her marriage ending. I've been sympathetic but clear that she needs to take accountability up to now as she does suffer with bad mental health already, but I'm running out of things to say before I just say what I think very bluntly and risk plunging her further into depression. Any advice? Thank you.