Nakedness selfie

[user50and]

I'm 53 and back in lockdown I managed to get really fit at home using weights and online workouts. I was super proud of myself, it was probably.the fittest I'd ever been.

In October 2020 I'd done a workout and had a shower, was lying on my bed after caught my reflection in the mirror and decided to take a photo.

My partner of 13 years (we weren't living together at the time but have been now for nearly 5 years) caught sight of it last night while I was going through old photos and hasn't spoken to me since.

He's convinced I must have sent it to another man and thinks it's 'weird'. Now I'm really embarassed. I do take the odd selfie if I feel my hair/makeup/outfit looks good. They just don't tend to be naked! Just to look back on really, in case I want to recreate the look.

I've told him exactly what happened as above, but it's now nearly 24hrs later and he's.still ignoring me...

Sorry the title should read Naked, not Nakedness 🙄

Probably wishes you'd sent him it 😀

Good for you, glad your work showed results.

I'd probably raise an eyebrow too but ultimately if he trusts you, he'll know you're telling the truth.

If he doesn't trust you, you have more problems than a naked photo anyway.

I can imagine if you found a naked photo of him lying stark bollock naked on the bed, MNetters would be saying "Yeah sure he took the photo for him".

The Silent Treatment is more damaging to a relationship than a photo taken before the relationship!!.

How did he catch sight? It was over 5 years ago so
wont be in your recent camera roll. Was he snooping? Or were you looking at it randomly near him?

Photo wasn’t before the relationship?

You know what, fuck him!

It is complete projection that you must have sent it to another man. The total basis of that is that he imagines it.
presumably this jealous nonsense is completely to be expected from his character and the tip of the iceberg. I hope I’d have enough self respect to let him go.

Has he got any naked photos on his phone I wonder?

I was looking at old videos of the kids and it was there. Oh God I'm embarrassed. It wasn't a full frontal everything on show number. I was.lyimg on my side. Oh bloody HELL.

I can imagine if you found a naked photo of him lying stark bollock naked on the bed, MNetters would be saying "Yeah sure he took the photo for him".

Yes, if I find naked selfies of DH on his phone I would think it was odd! 😆

There is nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s not like you’ve accidentally shown it to your boss, he’s your partner. The problem is he doesn’t trust you, if he did he probably would have commented that you looked good and asked for a copy of it, instead he assumed infidelity, why? I’d focus on that, rather than you having a picture of your own body, there’s nothing wrong with that

The real issue is the silent treatment. Abusive and manipulative behaviour

I think I'd be suspicious if I found a pic of my DH naked too.

If you were sending nudes to people yhen why would you just have ONE from 5+ years ago and no more?

if you found a naked selfie of him taken when you werent living together what would you think? And would you entirely trust his answer
silent treatment is no great though

Why are you embarrassed? You have a body, as do we all. Can't be news to your partner of 13 years what it looks like. Nothing to be embarrassed about!
He should be the one embarrassed about behaving like a petulant child!

The silent treatment is abuse. But I must admit I'd be suspicious if I found a naked photo of my partner. Just because you trust someone doesn't mean they're incapable of cheating.

Throw him in the bin.

You took a selfie, big deal. You felt good about yourself and wanted to celebrate that.

He's now being abusive. Ick.

To be honest if I found a naked selfie on my husband phone I would be suspicious and I'd probably give him the cold shoulder for a while.

Good for you! Don’t be embarrassed. It sounds like you have a body to be proud of.

You've done nothing wrong it's just his suspicious insecurities driving him to his own conclusions. Tell him in no uncertain terms he's got another 24 hours to get his shit together and shake it off. If he can't tell him he can sling his hook.

If this was the other way around, the comments would be LTB and big red flag.
Mumsnet double standards again I’m afraid.

As long as you don’t mind getting dumped on the spot for it.

OP, it isn’t so much that this is a red flag, but that it should be a red card. Even if he feels pangs- the childish thing is to sulk and accuse. The mature response is to say “I’m feeling pangs here, can we talk about it?”

He obviously has low self awareness and lower control of his emotions. It wouldn’t be for me, on any of the fronts.