For context, I come from a large family, oldest out of 11 children with such a loving family background. For love, I married and moved to a new city to start a life I once dreamed of having. I fell pregnant quite quickly and had my DD before our first anniversary.
Being so far away from family meant that raising my now 2 year old. It was extremely difficult time for me and I went through a lot of turmoil with my husband and his behavior towards me. He never once stayed up at night with the baby, I was breastfeeding so he used that as an excuse not to help me. I would stay up all night with the baby, look after DD when he went to work, take care of the home, cook diner and he would come home 4pm to have an afternoon nap, because he has such a hard time at work. He would then wake up around 6pm to say go have a rest, but then that time I would try to clean up, do laundry or have a shower before he would bring her back to me and say he’s done - i had to pick one task. He would then go back into the spare bedroom around 11/12am and that’s what I’ve allowed until around 6months mark where I physically couldn’t do it anymore. Since then he’s given up his afternoon nap as a favor. He never takes DD out of the house, or to soft play by himself and uses work as an excuse, even in weekends. He micromanages what I do when he comes home, says sly things like why am I on my phone, mind you just dissociating for a bit before I literally have to get up to make dinner. He’s always on his phone playing stupid games even though he’s meant to watch DD while I literally run around the house to get things done. We eat dinner, then he goes out nearly everyday, especially Friday-Sunday from 7pm -11pm to see his friends or play stupid game at a cafe. He doesn’t do bedtime, which makes it so much harder for me because DD avoids sleep at all cost so I’m just there for waiting for him to leave. I have never been away from DD but he gets regular breaks when I can travel and stay with my family. He’s been on two separate trips this year far away, one week each time and even though it’s been amazing when he’s not with me, I just think it’s hurtful that I don’t have that luxury of leaving DD with him to go on a trip. So now, I’m planning to go on holiday with DD and he said he can’t take time off work as he has used up all of his annual leave. I take my daughter out all the time to soft plays, sensory plays, weekends in another city, imagine by myself like I’m a single mum. He uses work an excuse and says I pay for your ability to do things with her.
He's emotionally absent, I’ve cried a handful of times and talked to him about how I feel but he doesn’t take me seriously. It got to the point now where he sleeps in a separate room. We don’t talk unless it’s to do with DD. I feel so lonely in my marriage.
Sorry for the long post.