I’ve name changed for this post. Just sat at home on the sofa with one of my DC and feel like bursting into tears. Earlier DH and I had an awful argument. It was about the back flip on of the ice skaters did at the Olympics of all things. I thought it was impressive and showed the DDs and DH a clip yesterday, he wasn’t impressed and said he’d seen it done loads before. I accepted that, but I googled it because I was surprised I hadn’t seen it done before and found out ‘oh it was made illegal for ages that’s why it stood out’ and thought that was the end of that conversation - until today he brought it up, saying ‘someone did it before in the 90s, I must have see it done as a child’ - this annoyed me because I didn’t understand why he was going on about it, so I said ‘I don’t know, I don’t think you’d remember that, why is it so important to you to be right about this?’ And then the argument escalated from there to a point where he told me to shut the fuck up and said when the kids were grown up he’d be gone - it was absolutely ridiculous. He’s spoken to me like that in a couple of arguments in the past 10 years and I’ve always stood up for myself, said I won’t be spoken to like that etc and we’ve resolved things - but today I just don’t feel like we can. He went on to say that he thinks I’m unhappy with our relationship and lying to myself, I said that he needed to stop putting words in my mouth and say how he felt, and then it’s the same issues about lack of sex etc that we’ve had crop up before and I’m just sick of it all to be honest. Things have been good between us and his having nice family times, both working hard, these things crop up sometimes like lack of sex but we always try and agree that it’s hard to at the moment because of the kids not sleeping well/in our bed/we’re tired/no alone time - anyway that’s not the issue today what I’m so lost and sad about is that everything seems to have been fine and going well and then this argument has come up and he’s speaking disrespectfully to me and talking about our relationship like it means nothing, saying he’s only staying for the kids essentially. And he says stuff in the heat of arguments he regrets and I usually rationalise it away but this time I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I can. I don’t feel like he really can love me if this is what he reverts to. And about something so stupid. And I’m just feeling so so sad. I don’t want to break up our family and have to lose all of that, because we have a lot of lovely times. We have a lot of plans. But I just feel really lost in the whole situation. I don’t want to destroy my DCs world, my poor kids, we don’t argue in front of them if we do have disagreements and we don’t argue often, there isn’t some toxic atmosphere all the time at home, they are happy girls and this would just be awful for them if we split up - but how can I actually trust him again? How can I trust now that he’s not secretly thinking ‘when the kids are old enough I’ll just leave’ all the time?