What's the best way to get out of this situation

[RemiLuma]

My partner 27/M and I 25/F have been together for 2 years and have a one year old daughter. At the moment we're living at my parents house. Mostly because they don't trust him

During this time I have noticed some rather unfortunate signs.

The first one is that he will do a deep clean when he's "in pain" and go "see you can clean when in pain". For context I have pcos and endo. So it takes me a little longer to clean up. And he usually gets grumpy it takes too long and does it himself.

When it comes to decisions on the baby I usually have to constantly bring something up before he does it. Like real food for example, he wouldn't introduce it to her until she turned 1, although we could be giving her tiny bits of banana from 6 months. Even though I asked to do it. The same thing happened with the formula milk too.

He's on a lot more money than I am, and he constantly brings up how he's buying everything for her while I'm not. For context, after rent and bills I have like £150 to last me the month. For context I only work part time so I can have more time with her. The last two months I got more money because I asked for more hours. So I paid for a lot of the stuff like clothes and nappies. When I made a joke about it he was like, "see it's not easy being the one to pay for everything"

The other thing is, he pressures me into sex. I will say no to him and he will keep trying to have sex, until I eventually say yes.

He wanted me to be a housewife and not contribute to the financial situation at first.

I've never used endo or PCOS to get out of daily tasks, I only take it at a slow pace when I'm in a significant amount of pain.

With both my PCOS and endo diagnoses, he dismissed it and said "your pain isn't as bad as mine". Which honestly I can't comment on, because our pain is different. And he will also make digs on my eating habits (which has gotten significantly better since I'm taking it seriously) and steal my snacks. As well as making comments on how I should do core exercises.

I know it's a toxic relationship, and that it will affect our daughter. I'm just not sure how to end it.

Sorry, what? He doesnt want to wean your daughter until shes one? Am I reading this right?
You need to get rid of this man and take the advice of a lot of the other posters about how to do it.

Like real food for example, he wouldn't introduce it to her until she turned 1, although we could be giving her tiny bits of banana from 6 months. Even though I asked to do it. The same thing happened with the formula milk too

What do you mean by this? He didn't let you wean her onto food until a year? What about formula milk?

You afe in a good position surely? The best. Your parents see him for the controlling rapist he is and you live with them. Your dad only needs to ask him to leave and you report his actions to the police.

The child is already 1. He wouldnt let op feed her.

The difficulty will be in making him leave. When you have the conversation and end the relationship, is it possible to have a spare room ready? You can explain that he will move into the spare room while he makes alternative living arrangements and give him a reasonable deadline to find somewhere new. If he starts to argue about the deadline or to delay finding new accommodation, can you suggest he discusses it with your parents instead, since it's their house? He won't be able to manipulate or intimidate them as he tries to with you. Good luck.

No. The relationship is over. He should be told to leave now. He doesn't need to be babied to do with where he goes. He's an adult, quite capable of staying in a hotel or airnib, or renting somewhere. He doesn't get to stay - that's crazy! 😒

Well OP is worried about how to get out of the situation so I think it's a case of offering different options and it's for OP to decide what's realistic and manageable for her in terms of navigating the end of the relationship and ongoing co-parenting.

He's a lodger in your parents house, they can tell him to leave. No need for discussion,

Whilst your parents are correct from what you have posted they're rightly concerned. But it seems you're a bit of a people pleaser and you need to work on yourself rather than doing what other people want you to do. You're an adult with a child of your own you should be doing what YOU feel is right for you and your child. You and your child are living with your parents purely because they told you they can't trust your partner which is fair enough given his behaviours. But even then it is also a little concerning that they're saying they can't trust you to make safe decisions for your child. Do you feel you can't manage without their support? Do you have any kind of support from a social worker or family support team?

Its not assault, its rape. My ex was like this. Court have made charges and I was asked repeatedly, why was it not rape. I kept saying because I didnt say no. I expected a coercive sex charge..... you dont need to have said no. Being pressured into sex for an easier life is rape.

And the rest of the Ops post is quite clearly an abusive relationship. Get him to fuck!!!

OP you are in an unhealthy possibly dangerous relationship. You have already made 3 good decision….

1. you live with your parents
2. you recognize relationship is bad for you dc and your parents
3. you came to MN to ask for advice

now reread the earlier posts by @Pherian and @Pearlstillsinging and extricate yourself starting today.