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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Questioning friendship

20 replies

LA1988 · 11/02/2026 21:26

Went on a date last weekend & even though it went well he said he didnt think he was ready to date but could we be friends because we got along so well. I agreed. Didnt hear from him for a few days then today he pops up and after the usual "hi, how are you, how was your day etc" he said "you cant rely on me to message you all the time" I explained I dont expect him to message me all the time because as adults we both have busy lives. He then said "so if your in a relationship you dont do 50/50 messaging" again I explained "if I was in a relationship its different but we were not in one & that when it comes to friends & keeping in touch it varies. I message my 2 best friends a couple times a day & one friend I messaged a week ago & they still hadnt replied but it doesn't bother me because I know with jobs, families etc everyone gets busy" to which he replies "if your not going to chase after me, im not going to chase after you". Im slightly confused because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship & wanted to be friends but now hes going about me chasing him etc

OP posts:
Moen · 11/02/2026 21:28

You met him a week ago. It’s not a friendship.

Why would you entertain having someone like this in your life? Block him.

mumofb2 · 11/02/2026 21:29

Delete and block

ForTipsyFinch · 11/02/2026 21:33

He’s a game playing, why are you even entertaining this crap and overanalysing him? He’s a 🐓

He doesn’t want to be ‘friends’ he wants to keep you in the wings for sex if he doesn’t find anyone else. You should block him.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/02/2026 21:34

Just block him.

1Messycoo · 11/02/2026 21:47

He’s a player = avoid, ignore and move on .

VoltaireMittyDream · 11/02/2026 21:50

He’s an angry fucked up nutjob. Block!

Folicky · 11/02/2026 21:50

Ballbag

Itwasallyellow2 · 11/02/2026 21:58

He’s already gaslighting you and making you doubt yourself. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

TheFormidableMrsC · 11/02/2026 21:59

God what a prick

justtheotheronemrswembley · 11/02/2026 22:02

Fuck that.

justtheotheronemrswembley · 11/02/2026 22:07

he said he didn't think he was ready to date but could we be friends

Which basically translates to "I can't be arsed with a relationship, but I could do with a FWB shag, so I'll keep going to see whether she's up for it".

BauhausOfEliott · 11/02/2026 22:20

Oh for god’s sake, why would you even bother conversing with this twat? You’ve had one date with him and he’s already being a prick. Just block him; he’s not a friend.

Loloblue · 11/02/2026 22:22

Auditioned you for a shag later! Sack him off

Arlanymor · 11/02/2026 22:23

He's a moron isn't he? Doubt he wanted a friendship, he wanted a FWB. Block.

Endofyear · 11/02/2026 22:48

Uggghhh what a twat, I hope you've blocked him already!

PullTheBricksDown · 11/02/2026 22:49

Tiresome. Pass agg thumbs up, then block

financialcareerstuff · 12/02/2026 09:36

Take a step back and analyse this like you just read the thread. He is setting you up to have no expectations - with the possibility of getting sex from you. So in future, When you complain about his shit, exploitative behaviour, he can say “I told you I wasn’t ready to date”. Then god knows what all the texting crap is about. Is he trying to tell you you should be willing to chase him? Have no expectations that he will reply evenly? It is he complaining you aren’t texting enough? Regardless he is expressing himself passive aggressively, non transparently, and is picking a fight about nothing. He is showing you very clearly what having anything to do with him is going to feel like. Shit. What a twat. Block him.

OvernightBloats · 12/02/2026 09:39

He's a 100% twat who enjoys messing and playing with women's emotions. He is not worth a moment more of your precious time - BLOCK!

Fodencat · 12/02/2026 09:43

Random twat. Block.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 12/02/2026 13:42

He's being a bellends. Count your lucky stars you found out so early and block him

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