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Original poster

Ex husband bought dog

30 replies

Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 17:51

Need some help - am
i being unreasonable?? My ex husband lives in the family home (mainly because he wasn’t prepared to help fund me and his children living there) the house is about to go up for sale as part of the divorce and he’s bought a puppy. Although it’s his home, it’s still 50% mine and I think he should have spoken to me before buying the dog. not because he has to run things past me but because it is still my house too and we all know puppies can be a little destructive! Im also seething because he said he needed as much time as possible to pay the money back he owes me but he can afford over 1k on a puppy? Am I getting narkey unnecessarily??

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 09/02/2026 17:53

As soon as the house sells you get your money your not his mum

Also any damage from the puppy comes out if his pocket not yours

FloofyKat · 09/02/2026 17:54

Yes, YABU.

BollyMolly · 09/02/2026 17:58

I can understand by your be annoyed about this but maybe he’s lonely there on his own and needs the company of a pet.

Original poster
Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 18:07

He has the children 50% of the time so definitely not lonely and he has a busy social life.. loads more I could say but I don’t have space here. I just don’t want house ruined for a sale!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 18:09

@FloofyKat Still think he should have paid me back before doing this

OP posts:
WelshRabBite · 09/02/2026 18:18

I completely see where you’re coming from.

He's in debt to you and has just spent £1k on something unnecessary, plus probably £300+ on insurance, and food, dog bed, lead, bowls etc.

i would confirm with him in writing that prior to house viewings for the sale he will thoroughly clean the home, plus take the dog out for the duration of the viewings, even if it’s pissing down with rain.

It’s very foolish timing on his behalf (& I say that as a dog lover who adores puppies).

Brightbluesomething · 09/02/2026 18:20

You do seem unreasonable. He’s under no obligation to pay for a house for you. That’s your responsibility. He’s bought a puppy in his house and it’s his furniture it’ll chew. Puppies don’t knock down walls or affect the sale value of the bricks and mortar, that’s what you own half of. And it’s your kids that will be playing with it whilst they’re there, which is lovely for them.
You haven’t said what money he owes you? But if it’s half the house you’ll get that when it’s sold. Asking him to pay you it before then is also unreasonable, if he’s not buying you out.

Hiptothisjive · 09/02/2026 18:21

Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 17:51

Need some help - am
i being unreasonable?? My ex husband lives in the family home (mainly because he wasn’t prepared to help fund me and his children living there) the house is about to go up for sale as part of the divorce and he’s bought a puppy. Although it’s his home, it’s still 50% mine and I think he should have spoken to me before buying the dog. not because he has to run things past me but because it is still my house too and we all know puppies can be a little destructive! Im also seething because he said he needed as much time as possible to pay the money back he owes me but he can afford over 1k on a puppy? Am I getting narkey unnecessarily??

YABU. Our puppy didn’t ruin anything. You are looking for things to be annoyed about.

BollyMolly · 09/02/2026 18:59

Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 18:07

He has the children 50% of the time so definitely not lonely and he has a busy social life.. loads more I could say but I don’t have space here. I just don’t want house ruined for a sale!

If he has the children 50% of the time then he has no obligation to pay for you to live there. That you made a dig about that unnecessarily and that you seem determined that the puppy will destroy the house shows that you probably are getting needlessly narky. That’s understandable because emotions run high during divorces, but he’s doing nothing wrong. My puppy/dog never did anything to destroy our house, but it did bring a lot of enjoyment to our children. Let this go, and recover any money he owes you through the normal divorce process without making it harder than it needs to be.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/02/2026 19:01

I bet the kids are excited to have a puppy.

FloofyKat · 09/02/2026 23:17

Mellowrabbit · 09/02/2026 18:09

@FloofyKat Still think he should have paid me back before doing this

Paid you back? Has he borrowed ££££ from you?

Lurmusion · 09/02/2026 23:22

Sorry if I misunderstood, but you expected him to fund you and get you a house after the separation?

mindutopia · 10/02/2026 03:09

I’d sit back and watch this play out. Our dog as a puppy caused absolutely no damage to our house, despite being a high energy working breed.

But I truly cannot imagine anything worse than a new puppy in the midst of a break up, house move, with 50/50 contact, work and a busy social life. That sounds absolutely hell ish and he’s going to regret that pretty swiftly. Ready to break free, get out there and mingle? Nope, he’s going to be stuck at home the next few years. No holidays, no weekends away without a major faff, no late nights out with friends because puppies/dogs don’t let themselves out at night.

He’s going to wish he’d made better life choices. Get a payment plan in place for the money he owes you.

SandyY2K · 10/02/2026 03:12

Yeah... I'm not seeing it reasonable that he asks you before getting a puppy, even if you still jointly own the place.

Jellybunny56 · 10/02/2026 03:14

Sorry OP but yes YABU. He doesn’t need your permission to get a dog.

FrozenFebruary · 10/02/2026 03:31

He's an absolute twat getting a puppy, for so many reasons. But given you're divorcing him it can't come as a huge surprise that he's a. Idiot.

I'd be furious too, as it's going to cause problems selling the house.

but I'd be very worried about the puppy, it doesn't sound like he's going to have the time to look after it properly.

frozendaisy · 10/02/2026 06:16

You wait
when the puppy novelty wares off and he has a dog he hasn’t trained it will be
“oh the kids really want to stay with the dog”
and you will be guilt tripped or try to be guilt tripped into having kids and dog at the same time

you need to make it absolutely clear that his dog is entirely his problem and make sure the kids know the dog needs dad as the consistent leader of the pack

Galliano · 10/02/2026 06:45

As you’re not living in the house there is limited incentive for him to get on with the sale. I’d be suspicious that he is, at best, in no hurry for it to take place and perhaps even actively thwarting it.

piscofrisco · 10/02/2026 07:11

Are you a touch annoyed that he has done some thing the kids will love, and you feel like he’s winning the competition a bit op? I don’t mean to sound horrible, it’s actually natural to feel like that a bit at the beginning of a divorce. As long as you don’t vocalise it to the children or show it in any way, because that way some very messed up kids with difficult loyalty binds to contend with lie. It’s not a healthy or happy mindset to view co parenting this way, you are still both their parents, who they should be allowed to love equally and enjoy spending time with equally, it will just look different from now on. Be happy for the kids if they like the dog, and don’t think about it further than that.
He can do as he pleases in what is his own home effectively and you no longer have a say over it. It’s not going to affect the house sale.

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 10/02/2026 07:15

Of course you are being unreasonable!! Genuinely amazed that you think you have a say in this to be honest! 🤯

Theunamedcat · 10/02/2026 07:19

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 10/02/2026 07:15

Of course you are being unreasonable!! Genuinely amazed that you think you have a say in this to be honest! 🤯

The house is half theirs so he should really have asked it would have been polite

GreyCarpet · 10/02/2026 08:20

Personally, I think.he should have paid you back for whatever he owed you before getting a dog but I also think you need to.emotionally detach from him.

There is little point in being annoyed about choices he is making for his own life now - you are divorced.

piscofrisco · 10/02/2026 11:27

Theunamedcat · 10/02/2026 07:19

The house is half theirs so he should really have asked it would have been polite

Show quote history

Dh’s ex wife moved her affair partner into their house two weeks after he had moved out. A dog is nothing in the scheme of things

GentlemanJay · 10/02/2026 12:22

You are still trying to control him. You live apart. He can do what he likes.

My ex did this. I didn’t give it a moments thought.

BauhausOfEliott · 10/02/2026 13:38

Just because you part-own the house you can't expect to control what he does and doesn't do there. You don't live there, he does. You're not his landlord.

You can absolutely be annoyed that he spent a lot of money on a puppy when he owes you money, but there's still nothing you can actually do about it and there's nothing to be gained from raising it with him. It's not like it's something he can just return for a refund, so what's done is done.