I've been dating a man for a three of months. He has three children from a previous marriage, I have two but one is now at university. He has his children every weekend and I have my youngest every other. I have my youngest throughout the week. He has his Thursday night-Sunday morning, as well as a big chunk of the holidays.
When we first met, he was upfront about him having his children xyz days, as was I about the amount of time I have my son. We agreed to take things slow, get to know one another and see how it went. He has stuck to this and I am grateful for that, as my ex husband was completely different; very pushy, had to have it all his way etc.
Recently, I was struggling to get a babysitter to meet him during a weekday evening, my babysitter was booked and my DD can't stay with my parents during the week. He said that we'd just have to leave it, despite not seeing each other for two weeks. I suggested meeting at the weekend instead, to which he said, "you know I have my kids over the weekend. What do you expect me to do with them?" Here I pointed out that he said his sister would occasionally have his children now and again, if we decided to do something of an evening. He refused to ask her and said it wasn't her job to have his kids. Whilst I understand this, I have had to arrange for a babysitter every time we have met so far. I have had to pay someone to have my DD, in order to go around his schedule with his children. He has never once suggested meeting on a weekend where I don't have DD, to save me the hassle of arranging for a babysitter. So far, I've spent a couple of hundred pounds on arranging childcare.
Adding to cost, I have always been understanding that his money mainly and rightly goes on his children however, mostly all of our 'dates' have been a walk with a coffee, then home to a film, we visited a light switch on at Christmas, and a drive up a mountain to see the northern lights. The only time we have been out for lunch was if I paid, which I have done several times as it's so cold to be hiking etc now. He loves walking and so I understand it's an interest of his however, I love history and crafts but he has declined those kinds of things.
Am I being too sensitive, or am I starting to see the cracks? He is so calm that o really enjoy his presence however, I do feel perhaps it is all going to have to be his way or no way. I really am considering walking away, instead of having to constantly alter my life to suit his, when he clearly refuses to bring balance and do the same.